SH 2015: Yours Truly, With Love & Confection (for drainbamage954) (1/2)

[suholiday]

For: drainbamage954
From: ANONYMOUS until May 22, 2015

Title: Yours Truly, With Love & Confection
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s)/Focus: Suho-centric with hinted at Suho/Xiumin and Suho/Baekhyun, endgame Suho/Baekhyun ^^; side!Lay/Lu Han (side!Tao/Kyungsoo if you squint)
Length: 58,825 words
Summary: Sometimes Joonmyun feels claustrophobic living in a small town where literally the entire population knows either him, his mother, or his kids (or his weird and annoying next door neighbor). But when a mysterious young man arrives to fill in as his new intern for the summer, Joonmyun’s not sure he likes the change, either.
Warning/s: weird!Luhan, language, kid!Jongin, kid!Jongdae, mentions of feminine hygiene products; mentions of Suho and Kyungsoo having been previously married to women

Notes: *sad laughter that fades off into the gloaming*

"Dad! Dad I think it's on fire!" Jongin flaps the comic book in his hands in front of the microwave. Sparks spew through the crack around the frame of the plastic door like a ring of fire at a circus show. "Well get away from there!" Joonmyun dodges between his son and the sparking appliance, shielding his eyes with his arm. It takes three tugs for the plug to pop out of the outlet but the microwave finally whirs to a stop. Jongin and Joonmyun stare at each other wide eyed for a moment, panting as the element inside the machine ticks softly as it cools down. The thick plastic insulating the cord in Joonmyun's hand lays heavy on his palm and he realizes he's still clutching it in his fist. "Are you okay?" he asks, dropping it to his feet. "Uh huh." Jongin’s brow is still creased in a worried frown as his thumb rubs at the stiff edges of his paperback. "How did it even--Dad, you didn't put something metal in there, did you?" "No?" Joonmyun looks off to the vase of wilting flowers balanced on the sideboard to his left, trying to remember. "No, I'm sure, not even foil this time! I took the wrapper off before I stuck it in." "What exactly is in there?" Jongin gives a dubious shake of his head. His thick bangs slip across the slope of his forehead and further into his eyes "Noodles," Joonmyun says, and he is proud of himself for refraining from tucking Jongin's hair behind his ear. He's going for the cool kid look this summer, complete with woven shoe laces on his Vans and a messy overgrown fringe. "Just...instant cup noodles. And I even put them in a casserole dish instead of the styrofoam!" "Then...I don't even know, Dad." Jongin rests his fists on his skinny hips in his baggy faded denim. "Well, here goes..." Joonmyun reaches for the handle of the microwave, eyeing the trickle of black smoke wisping through the crack around the rectangular door. He rips open the handle and a billow of foul smoke rushes out like a swarm of angry hornets, assaulting Joonmyun's nose and eyes with stinging stench. "Dad!" Jongin yells, his voice cracking in a high pitched squeak. Joonmyun's eyes fly open to see the smoldering corner of the brick of wavy noodles burst back into flame. "Close the--!" Joonmyun slams the door shut and the smoke slows to a steady stream once deprived of a stable oxygen source. "Um, why don't you open the window, Jonginnie, and find the oven mitts?" "Dad! You can't just open that again! Let's get the fire extinguisher first!" Jongin tosses his comic book onto the pile of junk mail and a half eaten banana on the kitchen table as he reaches for the oven mitts hanging above the stove. "Well, we have to get it out of there!" Joonmyun bounces on his heels in frustration. His throat is tightening with stress and the irritation of the toxic smelling cloud filling the kitchen. The smoke alarm in the hall goes off at an ear splitting pitch just as Joonmyun's neighbor bursts in through the backdoor, clad in a ragged tank, Hawaiian swim shorts, and wet flip flops that squeak on the linoleum as he slides to a stop. "What! Is going on! Are you guys okay? Oh my god! I called the fire department so don't panic!" He grabs Joonmyun by the shoulders and digs in his fingers until Joonmyun winces at the feel of Luhan’s nails through his thin linen dress shirt. "You did what?" "And also your mom and the electric company, like! Just in case, man! You know." Luhan's eyes loom huge and dark through the misting of smoke in contrast to the unnatural shade of red streaked over the blonde of his last dye job. The overall effect is strawberry banana, which only looks appealing on milkshakes in Joonmyun's opinion, but then again it's hard to tell through all the smoke. "Uncle Lu," Jongin rasps, and then coughs into his hand. "Oh dear!" Joonmyun whisks an arm around his son's shoulders, angling away from Luhan's grip. "We should stand outside!" "Hello?" A sharp voice penetrates the foggy air as the back door bangs open yet again, the door knob almost knocking Jongin in his slouchy shoulder. "This is the municipal fire department! We are coming in!" "Minseok Kim?" Joonmyun blinks, his burning eyes releasing a trickle of saline lubrication down his cheeks. "Mr. Kim, this is the third call from you we've had this week!" The fireman stretches into his full height, which barely matches Joonmyun's own in his steel toed boots. He brandishes the fire axe in his hands as he advances into the kitchen. "Please don't axe my microwave!" Joonmyun stumbles back as Luhan escorts Jongin out into the fresh air, finding himself protecting his most troublesome kitchen appliance with a spread eagle stance for the second time today. Minseok just rolls his eyes and stashes the dull axe into a loop of the leather tool sash belted over his heavy black jacket. "Calling the fire department for non-emergencies is a crime, you know. You've got to stop being so dramatic! And also stop abusing your poor microwave." "It's not my fault technology hates me!" Joonmyun huffs, annoyed he's having the same conversation at home that he has with his secretary Amber whenever the copier breaks down just because Joonmyun walks past it. "And to be exact, I'm not the one who placed the emergency call! That was my idiot neighbor." He glares out the open doorway at Luhan, who is already busy demonstrating fishing knots to Jongin with Jongdae's jump rope. Jongdae abandoned it in the lilac bushes this morning and Joonmyun hasn't had the chance to tidy up before lunch. "That doesn't change the fact," Minseok snaps, his eyes flashing through the dull veil of dissipating smoke, "that your hazardous lifestyle is endangering the entire community, including your own children! Not to mention wasting precious resources that could be better spent rescuing compromised felines." "Kitties," Luhan nods sagely, looking up as his fingers loop a half hitch with the purple jump rope, "are very important." "But I was hungry!" Joonmyun protests as he scoots towards the computer desk when Minseok waves him aside. "My lunch is important, too." "Stand back, this could get intense," Minseok growls, and he pulls out a mini red can of extinguishing spray from his belt. "My apologies to your microwave and lunch." "You don't sound very sorry!" Joonmyun snaps back. Minseok ignores him, reaching for the handle of the plastic door with his stiff gloved fingers. Another burst of smoke puffs out but no more flames appear. Minseok drops the can of chemical foam to the the floor and it pings against the linoleum. He reaches in with his clumsy gloves to pull out the uncovered casserole dish Joonmyun had piled several bricks of instant noodles into. Most of the ramen in the dish is the same, dry, off-white color as the ceramic, but the corner that is still smoking has charred to a crispy black. "Seriously?" Minseok taps the side of the dish with a thickly gloved finger and a chunk of charred noodles shatters off and sifts to the bottom with a ceramic tinkle. "You nearly burned down the neighborhood making cup ramen? Why am I not surprised." He gives a slow shake of his head and dumps the contents in the sink before dousing the smoldering dinner with a blast from the faucet. "Hey, I took off all the metal foil shiny parts!" Joonmyun rubs his biceps with his palms, arms still folded across his chest in a stance of defense. It's not fair that Minseok always has to turn his mistakes into something so personal. This is just a cooking accident, after all. Could have happened to anyone. Kitchens are dangerous places. "Next time, read the directions and then you would know to add some water," Minseok says as he hands Joonmyun the dish. "Hey, Chief!" Another fireman in a heavy black jacket pokes his head through the doorway, nodding politely to Joonmyun before returning his attention to Minseok. "Mrs. Lee called again! There's a cat in the elm tree on the playground." "Thanks, Henry." Minseok nods as he adjusts the fit of his fire helmet. He turns back to address Joonmyun with an arched brow, "now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have an important rescue mission to complete." "Thank you, Chief," Joonmyun answers in a meek, too worn out to argue further. He’s still upset about the persnickety nonsense Minseok just spewed at him in front of his gossipy neighbor, but it’s a relief he didn't have to open the explosive microwave by himself. "See you around, I guess." "Hopefully not under similar circumstances." Minseok smiles, his teeth gleaming like ice cubes between tight lips. "But yes. Please give my regards to your mother." Joonmyun closes the door as soon as the fire crew moves off his front lawn. He turns around to survey the mess in the kitchen Victoria left in spotless condition when she went home this morning, and is assaulted by tugging on both of his arms. "Dad! Dad can we order pizza? Double cheese sweet potato stuffed crust and deep fried prawns?" Jongin gasps all in one breath, rattling off the latest TV spiel for Madame Pizza. "Wait wait wait! You mean you know that hot firefighter dude? He knows your mom?" Luhan squeaks, and Joonmyun shoves everyone's clawing fingers off his arms with a groan. "Jonginnie, we can't order out every time Victoria has a night off." Joonmyun pops the fridge door open, biting his lips and hoping there's a container of leftovers in between the jungle of cauliflower heads and yogurt cartons that he missed the first time. "And yes, Minseok Kim is in my mother's bridge club. They play every Saturday." "But Dad--!" Jongin starts to whine. Joonmyun looks over his shoulder to silence him with a frown. "How about...salad. There is no possible way to burn that. And we can microwave mac and cheese?" "Yeah, but maybe me should give the microwave a rest." Jongin backs away from the yawning door of the still open oven and grabs his comic book to hold like a shield in front of his chest. "Yeah, you're unbelievable, dude!" Luhan punches Joonmyun in the shoulder and giggles like this is some kind of carnival game: punch your neighbor, win a prize!! The only prize Joonmyun will let him walk away with, though, are the bitter remains of his hoped for dinner. "You fail at cooking instant noodles? Which I learned how to make when I was three! And you even have "noodle" in your name!" "What?" Joonmyun blinks at Luhan's fist that is still digging into the curve of his shoulder. "Your name," Luhan says in a loud voice, moving his lips in distinct, wide stretches as if Joonmyun were deaf and trying to lip read. "Joonmyun, ramyun, get it?" Jongin giggles into the spine of his comic book, and Joonmyun resolves to withhold his latest manga volumes an extra 24 hours this time in retribution. "I should just call you Failmyun from now on," Luhan says with a delighted smile, as if he were handing Jongdae a bouquet of cotton candy flavors instead of bestowing Joonmyun with an embarrassing misnomer. Because Joonmyun may not be the best cook in the family, but he's not a complete failure in the kitchen. He can definitely make instant coffee, thank you very much. "Hashtag Failmyun! Yes, I like the ring of that." "This is private property you're trespassing on." Joonmyun turns on Luhan with the icy smile he usually reserves for business competitors and interns he's about to fire for wrecking his file archives or spilling coffee on something important like his Rainbow Brite post it note portfolio (which was his Valentine's Day gift from Jongdae this spring, by the way, Joonmyun is not responsible for owning it, as he made sure every member of the R&V branch team knows). "Please vacate the premises before I call Victoria to kick you out. She knows Kung Fu and wears stilettos." "Yeah yeah," Luhan sneers, already backing towards the open door. "You know Vic loves me. And besides, I have the spare key to your house in my coat closet, don't forget, Failmyun!" He giggles again with a last wink as he swings out the back door. "Bye, Uncle Lu!" Jongin waves him out and secures the screen door behind him with a firm tug. The back door always sticks this time of year. All the humidity from the rain makes the wood swell too much to fit into the frame. Joonmyun sags against the doorpost, resting his forehead against the cool wall and trying to ignore the acrid smell tickling at his nostrils when he inhales a deep breath. They really need to open the windows to get some air flow before it gets dark. "Hey, are you okay Dad?" Jongin's fingers are cool, the softest touch ghosting along Joonmyun's wrist. Joonmyun lifts his head to give his son a tired, yet sincere smile. "Yeah, of course, Jonginnie. But thanks for asking." He slides a hand across the crown of Jongin's head, savoring the silky smooth slip of thick hair against his palm but is careful not to mess up the styling. "And sorry for ruining dinner. You must be starving, huh." "Nah, you didn't ruin anything." Jongin shakes his head like a dog. His hair whips around his face like a keratin tornado before settling back into the exact same formation. "Cooking's hard. Even Vic complains about it, right?" "You mean Ms. Victoria," Joonmyun says, but he smiles in gratitude at his son before turning to pull out the salad fixings, the sliced egg, diced tomato, and rinsed greens Victoria left stacked in tupperware on the top two shelves. "Let's order pizza, whichever flavor you like! As long as you promise to eat some salad, too." Jongin cheers, tossing his comic book towards the ceiling and clutching it back against his chest. "Thank you!" he groans, all the vowel sounds drawn out. "But seriously Dad, flavors? We're not ordering ice cream." Joonmyun makes a face at Jongin's judging stare and rolls up his sleeves so he won't get tomato juice on his cream colored dress shirt. Their live in nanny does help out with a lot of the cooking, but she doesn't do their laundry. Joonmyun already spent half of his weekend getting Tabasco sauce stains out of his children's T-shirt collection and ironing his own work clothes. "Toppings, whatever. You can call the pizza place. I'm going to call your grandma and double check when we need to pick your brother up tomorrow, okay?" "Yessir!" Jongin gives him a salute and a wink before snatching up his cellphone with the Spongebob case Amber gave him for his birthday a few months back. "Roger that!" ✌ ✌ ✌ "Hey, boss!" Amber waves over the frosted glass partition of her cubicle at Joonmyun when he enters the office on Monday morning. "Good morning, Amber!" He gives her a bright smile as he slips his sunglasses off and flips his hair back from his forehead. Jongin isn't the only one in the family who could use a trim, but after picking Jongdae up from his mother's yesterday Joonmyun had to push a few speed limits to get Jongin to soccer practice on time, and after that was Jongdae's piano lesson. As soon as that concluded, the instructor dragged them all along to the music store in the same shopping strip as the studio to pick out new sheet music since Jongdae had flown through his lesson material yet again. As usual, there had been no time to swing by the barber shop. Joonmyun scribbles a reminder smiley face on a strip of scrap paper floating around his desk and pins it the bulletin board behind his computer monitor. It just fits between two snapshots from last summer's family vacation to Jeju, one of the two kids crouching between bushes of yellow canola blossoms and one of Joonmyun pretending to kiss the the stone lips of a blank eyed hareubang statue near the coast. That's another thing Joonmyun needs to make a note of, a reminder to plan their next family trip. There are too many things that slip past his attention lately. Amber does her best to keep him up to date with changes to his schedule and meetings, but she's the receptionist for the whole floor of office workers under Joonmyun's management and doesn't have time to act as his personal assistant. But the new batch of summer interns should arrive any day now, Joonmyun thinks to himself with a sigh of self assuring relief as he jiggles the mouse on his desk. The monitor flickers to life and Joonmyun savors the smooth feel of the computer keys under his fingers as he types in his passwords, one to get to the sign in area, one to select his user info, and one to unlock the files on his desktop he's been compiling for the end of quarter financial report. Fortunately he's almost done with charts, thanks to help from the in house accountant Krystal. All he needs to do now is type up the written explanation for the figures. The results for the first half of this year have been fantastic. They look startlingly successful on a basic graph, but the progress is no statistical error. Joonmyun knows first hand how much effort and creativity his team has put into marketing the new line of toilet paper they introduced in November, staying long hours and poring over the reviews of sample testers to tweak the products to perfection. The two-ply success of their tissue line, establishing the name "Fresh Fresh" as a top quality value brand as well as producing a wide profit margin to put back into research for developing future products, only spurs Joonmyun’s quest for market domination. He hopes to buckle down for the remainder of the year and produce the most comfortable, appealing, and trustworthy line of items R&V has come up with yet. He would even volunteer to serve as the first sample tester, if that were possible. "Mr. Kim?" Irene knocks on the glass window at the top of Joonmyun's cubicle wall before sliding around the partition to lean against his desk. It’s only been a few years since Joonmyun moved into this office as the branch manager and CEO of Fresh Fresh, a small offshoot of international cosmetics and hygiene products conglomerate R&V. One of the first management changes he made was to do away with the closed off office spaces and give everyone the same semi-private cubicles, to encourage flexibility between focus and communication when either function is most necessary. Whether or not the changes have been successful, well… Just check out the fiscal stats is what Joonmyun typed in a polite but frosty email to a nosy manager from an unrelated branch. That seemed to shut up the intruder, who often came up from two floors down to swipe Fresh Fresh's mix coffee packets and break room snacks but hasn’t been heard from since. "Good morning!" Joonmyun greets the marketing rep with a wave, spinning his chair to face her so he can examine the tray Irene is holding out for inspection. "Ooh, did you get your hair done this weekend? The new shade looks nice!" Irene smiles as she slides the plastic tray onto the end of Joonmyun's desk. "Thank you! My cousin did it for me. She's practicing to be a hair dresser." Irene twirls a loose curl around her finger. The tips of her long dark hair are dip dyed a brilliant flamingo pink, the same shade as the creamy shadow dusted along her eyelids. "Is she a cosmetology student?" Joonmyun reaches across his coffee mug for a stack of forms wedged under a box of candy. The milk chocolate nuggets wrapped in foils stamped with Spiderman masks were a gift from Jongin on Parent's Day. "Could you ask your lovely cousin to hand these out to her friends and see if any of them would be interested to apply as a beta tester?" "Oh, sure!" Irene takes the stack with smile, sliding the papers into alignment with edge of her thumb ring. "Thanks, boss, I never thought of recruiting them." "I'm always on the lookout!" Joonmyun flips her a chocolate with a wink. Irene shakes her head at him with an amused smile as she taps a lacquered nail against the handle of the tray. "We need approval on the official color options for these applicators before production goes ahead. These are same shades as the time, but modified with reflectors for a pearlescent effect." Joonmyun nods, leaning in to take a closer look at the rainbow of plastic tampon applicators lined up from petal pink to lilac on the far end. "That purple one looks especially nice and opalescent." He points to the one on the end and Irene circles the serial number on the paper the sample are affixed to with a nod. "Yes, that's what the team thought too. I'll make a note of it on the file. See you." She waves the chocolate truffle in her fingers in thanks as she glides around the corner. "Thanks, Irene!" The phone rings just as Joonmyun is swiveling his chair back to check the emails queued on his desktop app. The blue light on the machine means it's an internal call, so Joonmyun switches it to speakerphone and picks up the receiver. "Hello?" "Hey, boss," Amber says, "heads up from downstairs that corporate is sending over a new intern today. Supposed to be a personal assistant that will work directly under you." "Oh, thank you for the notice." Joonmyun smiles to himself because finally he'll have some help around here. He hopes it's a student on summer break from a nearby university, preferably someone from a business or paralegal department who will keep on top of things and intuit his needs before he even reaches for the stapler. Like Krystal. Krystal was the perfect summer intern and Joonmyun has never regretted hiring her full time as soon as the ink dried on her undergrad diploma. "So, can I send the dude right on in to see you as soon as he arrives?" "Sure, thanks Amber!" Joonmyun answers, his hand hovering above the end call button. "Wait, he? Corporate is sending a him?" "Yup," Amber says with a snap of bubble gum. "Unless the memo was a mistake. I've never met a Baekhyun before, but it doesn't sound like a girl's name." "No, no you're right..." Joonmyun leans back in his chair to cross his ankles as he straightens the pile of paper clips and pen refill cartridges jumbled just behind his mousepad. "I'm sure he'll be great, boss, since head quarters assigned him and all. And don't knock him before you meet him just because he's probably a dude. You've done a smashing job here yourself." "Hehe, you have a point there," Joonmyun chuckles, blushing at the praise. "Although I can hardly take credit for all of the work you ladies in this department get done around here." "Yeah, yeah, we know you love us!" Amber laughs too, a familiar ripple in the back of her throat. "I gotta call the cotton distributor now." "Ok, good luck!" Joonmyun hangs the phone back on the carol and opens his inbox. Sure enough, there is an official notice from head quarters CC'ed to both Joonmyun and Amber, as well as a Byun Baekhyun. Joonmyun skims it before clicking the tiny star in the corner to highlight it for follow up. It is a relief that he'll be getting some help around his cubicle, but he can't shake the sinking feeling that corporate sending a male intern to a 99% female department must mean something. Somehow, it feels oddly like a threat. ✌ ✌ ✌ Joonmyun's morning goes smoothly, spent answering calls and and inspecting the paperwork from cotton deliveries to the production plants. He squeezes in a few minutes before lunch time type up the last pages of his report. Just as he's finishing the concluding paragraphs he gets another call from an external number. Joonmyun sighs at the interruption, eyeing the number scrolling across the ID screen of his phone and wondering if he can just let Amber field it. His concentration is already broken though, and it's only ten minutes until his lunch break starts, so he might as well just deal with it now. "Hello, this Director Kim of Fresh Fresh Products, here for you and your family to serve all of your Health & Hygiene needs! How may I help you?" There is a beat of silence in which Joonmyun's pinky finger starts to twitch against the curve of his mouse. He’s about to be very annoyed if this is a telemarketer interrupting his work. Then a loud burst of obnoxious and familiar laughter assaults his ears and Joonmyun is beyond annoyed--he actually considers banging his head on his keyboard. "Luhan? How did you get this phone number? You have my cell if you want to make a personal call." "You actually have to answer the phone like that? You sound like Fullerbrush door-to-door--!" "Luhan!" "Okay, okay! Chill, dude," Luhan hoots, still gasping for breath. "How I know is not important," he purrs as soon as he recovers enough to speak. "And you didn't answer your cell, so I had to try this line. It's all your fault I'm calling your work." "I highly doubt that," Joonmyun spits out, his voice as controlled and professional as he is capable of sounding at the moment. "Why are you calling?" As much as Joonmyun does not want to chat with his neighbor while in the midst of a breakthroughs for all womankind finalizing the budget for research on the latest generation of tampon applicators, he knows resistance is futile. Luhan will pester him by redialing if he dares hang up. He might as well just get this over with now. "I am calling because everyone has talked it over and we've all come to the same conclusion. It is time to stage an intervention." "Intervention? Is someone sick? For heaven’s sake Luhan, if something happened to one of my kids why didn't you say so!" Joonmyun is already out of his seat, car keys in hand and sunglasses shoved on upside down before Luhan's laughter stops him in his tracks. "Myun, calm down. Go sit in your orthopedic rolling chair and take a deep breath so we can discuss this. Calmly! Together. Without hysterics." "Fine, I'm sitting," Joonmyun seethes as he plunks back into his seat. "What exactly are we discussing." "You! Lucky you. We had a community, family, neighborhood, whatever you wanna call it council meeting, and it's official. You are now signed up for cooking classes at the community center downtown. Every Saturday morning for two months." "Excuse me for interrupting," Joonmyun sniffs, snapping the lid off his carton of orange slices. He might as well organize his side dishes in preparation for lunch while they continue this "discussion". "But who is this 'we' you keep referring too?" "Uh, just about everyone," Luhan says, "your mom, Jonginnie, Minseok." "Wait, why were you talking about me to the fire chief behind my back!" Joonmyun hisses when he drops the carton he's trying to de-lid one handed and a tart squirt of orange juice sprays him in the eye. "And why do I need to learn how to cook! Victoria takes good care of the kitchen at home." "Oh yeah, and Victoria agrees too. She even volunteered to instate a boycott if you refuse." "Boycott?" Joonmyun can feel his internal temperature rising under his collar even as the AC unit above the window kicks on, blowing his napkin stash across his desk and half-unpacked lunch box. "You're not making any sense!" "Vic says she--and I quote--'will not assist my employer by packing his lunches or toasting his breakfast waffles until he agrees to attend cooking classes. The employer's children, however, are exempt to this boycott by reasoning that they remain as innocent bystanders of their father's incompetence. This is for your own good, Joonmyun Kim, so there.'" "Luhan, I don't think my nanny would be so cruel." Joonmyun counts the orange slices lined up in his carton to placate himself, trying to stay calm. "And especially that last line--are you sure that Victoria said that, or--" "Hmm," Luhan hums loudly, "well I might have made a few inspirational word choices as edits to the original text, but let me assure you that the spirit of Victoria's note remains intact. Text her to double check if you like." "Luhan," Joonmyun starts in the patient, even tone he reserves for reasoning with his youngest son . Luhan definitely acts like a child at times (such as right now), so maybe if he approaches this conversation with a parent's patient yet firm insistence then-- "And even if you decide to be stubborn and try living off of burnt noodles, Mr. Failmyun," Luhan giggles, interrupting Joonmyun’s train of thought yet again. Joonmyun wishes they were having this conversation in person, if only so he could stab his neighbor with his burnished stainless steel travel chopsticks. "Let me remind you that you still owe me the blank coupon out of the IOU booklet thing you gave me for my birthday, not to mention all the favors you owe me for babysitting your brats when you have to work overtime and Vic is at the nail salon!" "That's only happened, like, twice," Joonmyun moans, still protesting but on the verge of giving in because when has he ever won an argument with Luhan. Only once, to be exact, but then Luhan cried and Joonmyun gave in anyway and loaned him his grandmother's Delft porcelain tea set for the community center fundraiser for the local orphanage. "Nope, I don't wanna hear anymore excuses. And I'm joining the class too, for moral support. So you can complain all you want, my friend, but this is happening. You are doing this culinary course." "Fine." Joonmyun sniffles into a napkin as he wipes the streaks of angry orange juice from his face. "I'll try it. Once, Luhan. Just once. But if I hate it I'm not going back." Probably Joonmyun's mother would take pity on him and feed him if he gets too desperate, even if she is supposedly in on this scheme. Probably. "Okay!" Luhan cheers. "I'll take that as a definitely! See you on Saturday, dear neighbor!" Joonmyun slumps against his chair and listens to the dial tone sear across his eardrums and stab into his temples, too exhausted from dealing with Luhan to hang up the receiver and make the sound stop. He finally manages to heave himself upright again to disconnect the call and shoves an orange slice in his mouth, then two more. He's going to need a lot of vitamin C in the near future, he has a feeling, if his immune system is going to be able to withstand spending hours each weekend with his next door neighbor. ✌ ✌ ✌ Joonmyun doesn't get anymore personal calls at work for the rest of week, thank heaven and whatever genius invented boxed mac & cheese. By the end of the week Luhan's threats have receded into a vaguely lucid part of Joonmyun's brain, alongside reminder notes about haircuts and getting the gutters checked for invasive chinchillas. He's in a good mood when he pulls his Sorrento up into the driveway in front of his home, humming along to Rihanna on his favorite satellite radio station and thinking about dinner. It's taco night, the third Friday of the month is always taco night, and Jongdae sent him a snapchat of their meal preparations from his brother's phone almost an hour ago, only increasing Joonmyun's anticipatory hunger pangs . The curtains at the front window are drawn but a soft haze of light seeps through the layers of linen and onto the leaves of the azalea bushes lining the front walk. The red and icy pink blossoms have wilted and washed away with the summer rain, but the leaves glow dark and glossy in the twilight. Joonmyun loves coming home after a productive day hard at work, even more so when it's a Friday evening and he can stay up late playing parcheesi with his kids and reading jazz reviews on his favorite indie blogs once they're tucked into beds in the room next to his. "Hey guys, I'm home!" "Daddy!" Jongdae comes running out from the kitchen in bare feet and one of his brother's T-shirts. The collar slips down one of his narrow shoulders and the hem hangs past his knees. Joonmyun can't tell if he has shorts on underneath, but since his hair is wet and plastered against his forehead he's probably fresh from the bath. "Mm, my big baby!" Joonmyun catches him around his ribs to swing Jongdae up onto his hip. "Did you behave for Ms. Victoria today?" Jongdae just gives him a crooked grin, a neutral response that makes Joonmyun's breath catch in his throat. He sets his son back on his own two feet and picks up his pace towards the kitchen. Joonmyun only sighs in relief once he makes it around the corner and ensures with his own eyes that the hall carpet isn't tie dyed with purple grape juice and all of the dishes and dry ingredients in the spice cabinet aren't strewn across the kitchen floor like a midsummer's snowstorm. One never knows with Jongdae. "Oh, you're home?" Victoria leans in through the doorway to the dining room, the tray of clean silverware in her hands. "Just in time! We have the table all set and ready." "Sorry I'm later than usual, I would've texted from the office if I'd known the traffic would be heavy on the freeway. There was some kind of accident, or something." Joonmyun sets his briefcase against the leg of the computer table and slides over to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. "No worries." Victoria lays a thin red towel over the rolls stacked in the bread basket. "Jonginnie! Your father's home!" "Dad?" Footsteps pound down the carpeted stairs before Jongin swings over the balustrade at the landing, hopping to the hall floor like a cat. "Jonginnie!" Joonmyun almost chokes on his glass of water, a hand clasped to his chest as he watches his son straighten from a crouch on the floor and stroll into the kitchen. "Don't do something like that! You scared me." That earns Joonmyun an eye-roll. "Um, it's not that far to jump, Dad. I was being careful, ok." "Yeah, but..." Joonmyun dumps the rest of his water into the sink and stands the glass upside down in the dish drain. "What if your little brother sees you and gets ideas." "Dad, seriously." Jongin pops open the fridge and pulls a quart of milk from the door. "You got have known he’s the one who invented the Tarzan Leap Swing. We've both been doing it since, like, last Thursday?" Jongin uncaps the milk bottle as Joonmyun feels his chest spasm again. "Does Victoria know about this?" Joonmyun asks the ceiling, his voice faint between his lips like the murmur of his poor heart. "Hey, and use a glass please." He points to the row of mugs hanging from magnetic hooks lined on the wall above the stove. Jongin freezes with the mouth of the bottle a hair's breadth from his chapped lips. "But Dad!" Jongin swipes at his brow with the ragged cuff of his zip-up sweater. "You drank out of that glass and put it back without washing it! Does Victoria know about that?" Joonmyun opens his mouth to retort, then closes it again. Touche, Jongin. Jongin smiles sweetly before taking a long gulp. He empties half the bottle in one go and swipes at his lips and eyes again as he screws on the cap. "Jongin, are you--" Joonmyun's squint trails from the creamy froth on Jongin's upper lip to the dark smudges around his eyes. "Are you wearing eyeliner?" Jongin spins on his heels to face the fridge and throws the bottle in, leaving it rolling on the bottom shelf next to the breadbox before slamming the door shut. He disappears into the hall and the bathroom sink turns on full blast. Joonmyun strips off his suit jacket and drapes it over the computer desk chair before limping into the dining room, feeling thoroughly unprepared once again for his weekend job--Mr. Dad. "Are you ready to eat?" Victoria looks up from filling the water glasses to eye the bedraggled remains of Joonmyun's work clothes. He lost the tie in his car while sitting in the end-to-end traffic, and his shirt sleeves are rolled up past his elbows. He should probably go hang his dress shirt in the closet and trade it for a T-shirt so he doesn't have a nightmare of wrinkles to deal with later, but for now Joonmyun just needs to sit down and breath for a moment. "I just washed up, but I'll change after dinner. Thanks." He pulls out the nearest chair and drops onto the embroidered cushion strapped to the seat. He picks up the salad fork laid out at his place setting and examines his sad frown in the concave surface. The blurry reflection doesn't show if he's developed any new wrinkles in the last ten minutes, so he drops it back on his linen napkin with a resigned sigh. Dinner. After dinner he'll feel revived enough to help Jongdae with his new jigsaw puzzle and offer commentary as Jongin updates him on the plot points of their favorite action comic. Joonmyun always feels a little better after dinner. "Jongin, can you bring in the bread?" Victoria calls into the hall, but the red towel flutters into Joonmyun's line of vision while he’s still staring at the patterns on the tablecloth. He looks up from the contours of the woven basket to find the grinning face of his neighbor. "Luhan?" Joonmyun is confused as to why his neighbor is standing in his nice, peaceful dining room and interrupting his nice, peaceful dinner hour with a devious grin. His unnerving facial expression might not actually mean anything, but it is starting to give Joonmyun the shivers. Just like Jongdae, one never knows with Luhan. Perhaps this is a learned behavior. Perhaps Joonmyun should work on finding another, more reliable alternate babysitter for Victoria's nights off. "What are you doing here?" "Hey, what kind of question is that! I practically live here!" Luhan's protest is supplemented by a carefully crafted pout. His large eyes are liquid chocolate as he blinks innocently at Joonmyun, and the halo of light from the brass chandelier highlights his bleach blonde hair. "I don't know why you're pretending you're not delighted to see me. Anyone with half a brain would be thrilled when I grace them with my presence." Luhan flutters his fingers as he bends in a flourishy bow, then scratches at the sequins lining the collar of his skin tight spandex T-shirt. He's dressed in varying shades of purple today, from the hyacinth pouf of feathers fitted at his left shoulder like a brooch, to the lavender platform flip-flops on his feet. "Why the heck are you dressed like you're role playing a circus pony!" Joonmyun is on the verge of banging his head into the table, but Victoria would scold him for chipping the china or wrinkling his napkin so he refrains. "A circus p--? Excuse you!" Luhan taps the toe of his flip-flop in annoyance and the thick foam squeaks against the hardwood floor. "We're working on an episode about a cabaret dancer right now, and I'm just getting a feel for the character." "As per usual," Joonmyun sighs and rolls his eyes as he slumps further in his seat. He's not sure anymore if Jongin picked up that mannerism from him or vice versa. Luhan pulls out the seat at the head of the table and makes himself comfortable on the cushion. "Oh, and get excited! I brought I cheesy salsa since it's taco night!" "I hate cheesy salsa," Joonmyun mutters against the rim of his water glass. A few beads of condensation roll down the sides of the cup and splash onto the bunched up sleeve of his shirt. "But thanks for bringing it, I'm sure the kids will enjoy it," he adds hastily before Luhan has a chance to plaster a disappointed frown across his annoyingly expressive features. "You bet!" Luhan licks his lips and dips a finger into his own glass to flick at the ice cubes floating on top. "Everyone else on the planet totally loves my cheesy salsa. You're just weird, Myun." "Hungry!" Jongdae stalks into the dining room with his stuffed giraffe, Clarence, tucked under his arm. He props the doll on the piano stool pulled up next to his chair before taking his seat in the red plastic booster seat. Until the family compromised their rule of No Toys At The Dinner Table to allow Clarence to join them at meals, it was impossible to get Jongdae to use his booster chair. He had used a stack of phone books at his grandmother's house for a makeshift seat, and ever since refused to use anything but the yellow pages at home too. "Get ready for some cheesy salsa!" Luhan winks and reaches across Joonmyun's spot at the table to give Jongdae a high five. "Woo hoo," Joonmyun sighs as Victoria carries in the condiment in question, glass jar steaming from a quick reheat in the microwave. "I'm so excited." Victoria gives him a funny look as she props the dish on a hotplate and Joonmyun corrects his posture and fumbles for his napkin to unfold across his lap. The tweed of his trousers is starting to itch where it pulls across his knees and he regrets his decision not to change. Jongin comes in, face and fringe dripping from the sink and skin scrubbed a clean pink. So he must have been wearing eyeliner then, Joonmyun thinks as he shoots him a smile. Not that he minds, it was just a surprise since Jongin has never showed interest in cosmetics or Joonmyun's skin care regimen before. He'll talk to Jongin about it later, see about buying some products together. They can pick out a line of skin toners tomorrow at the department store, maybe. That would be fun. Victoria takes her seat at the other end of the table, next to Jongdae. "Alright, dig in guys! There's bread in the basket if you don't want a taco shell." Joonmyun shoots her a grateful smile and sneaks a roll as he passes the tortilla shells from Luhan down to the end of the table. He likes taco night, but only for the meat and a few of the toppings. He's never been too adventurous with foreign flavors, as ambitious as he is at the workplace. "How's work going, Dad?" Jongin takes a slurp from his brimming cup, which is actually Joonmyun's largest coffee mug he's refilled with more milk, ignoring the ice water at his place at the table. "Oh, not too bad." Joonmyun stretches his shoulders and dollops some non-fat yogurt over the bed of shredded lettuce and taco meat on his plate. "We're working on a new project but I can't tell you the details until it officially goes into production." "Oh, are you guys still understaffed at the office?" Victoria helps Jongdae spoon shredded cheese into his taco but it still gets everywhere. He even has some sprinkling his freshly washed hair, and Joonmyun bites back a laugh at how cute it looks. "Well, we're ok for now because Irene is focusing on internal management at the moment instead of doing site visits. Oh," Joonmyun adds, his lips twisting into a frown as he watches Luhan douse his beans and rice with lime juice, "we're getting a new intern." "Hey, that's great Dad!" Jongin shoves half an avocado in his mouth all at once and blithely ignores the looks or reproval both Joonmyun and Victoria shoot him. "'Cause didn't you want a new intern this summer?" "Well yeah, but--" Joonmyun passes down the cheesy salsa with a grimace and watches in horror as Jongdae turns his rice into a sea of pink, cheesy sauce. "I don't know, Jonginnie. Something just feels...off. About the whole set up. This newbie is from corporate so I wasn’t involved in the hiring process." "I’m sure it’ll be ok, Dad." Jongin gives him a beaming smile as his bare foot slides between Joonmyun's ankles with a reassuring nudge. "Remember what you told me about starting middle school? New people are only scary because you didn't get to know them yet." "Aw, thanks." Joonmyun returns his smile as he picks up his fork and starts spreading the yogurt in a thin layer across the food on his plate. It's a gratifying sight to see the white sauce glazing the rich and spicy meat like whipped cream on a bakery cake. He sighs with satisfaction as he lifts the first bite to his lips, a perfect square scooped from the exact center of the mound of toppings on his plate. "Oh hey, speaking of new people, I called our cooking instructor today and confirmed everything for tomorrow." Luhan mushes an avocado chunk with the flat of his fork and squeezes on more lime. "Don't forget! We have class bright and early in the morning! I'll be over to pick you up at 8:00." "Thanks for reminding me of that unfortunate commitment on my nice, peaceful Friday evening." Joonmyun wilts against the back of his chair with a groan. "You better bring me coffee if you're planning to drag me out of the house before 10:00 AM." "Ok!" Luhan just grins in response to the challenging glare Joonmyun sends him, and steals a gulp from Jongin's milk mug. "Coffee can be arranged." "I wish I was joining the cooking class." Victoria helps Jongdae reach his water and serves him another helping of beans in between bites of her own food. "It sounds really fun." "You could probably join!" Luhan gives her a double thumbs up and almost drops his fork into Joonmyun's water glass. "Well, the registration deadline was last night, but the cooking instructor is a pretty chill dude. I bet he'd still let you join if you really, really wanted." "Oh, that's ok. I'll have my hands full with these guys. Besides, my cooking is already the bomb." Victoria shakes her head and flips her ponytail over her shoulder as she leans over her plate to take a big bite of her taco. "That's the truth!" Joonmyun gives her an appreciative grin as he takes another bite. He might as well enjoy his dinner for now. There will be plenty of time to complain and be miserable about this cooking class nightmare in the morning. ✌ ✌ ✌ "So that is the spooning method for measuring baking flour! You can check the chart at the front of your instruction manuals for a breakdown of the different types of flours and their properties and traditional uses." The instructor dusts the flour from his palms and wipes them on his green apron, leaving a pair of white hand prints smeared down the pockets. "Your stations should be equipped with everything you need for today's cooking experiments! But just let me know if you can't find something and I'll pop over to assist you." The students stationed around the room, each wrapped in a matching forest green apron of their own, nod their heads and mumble in unison. "Great!" the instructor says, "oh! By the way, I guess I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Yixing, but you can call me anything if you can't remember my name. Just holler at me and I'll come running. Are there any questions so far?" No one raises their hand. Yixing steps down from the raised platform at the front of the room and plunges into his audience to wander between the tables of cooking stations. The students are paired up at the long tables, each topped with stainless steel counters and sporting two layers of shelving underneath. Joonmyun is, of course, stuck with Luhan. Fortunately for both of them, Luhan is dressed in a rather normal, though rather shapeless and baggy T-shirt and cargo shorts. Joonmyun would have sunk his claws into the doorpost and refused to let Luhan drag him out of the house this morning if he was still impersonating the circus pony or--god forbid--wearing the little mermaid inspired get up he'd gone grocery shopping in on Saturday. Joonmyun and the kids ran into him at the produce section and had the privilege of traipsing with him arm-in-arm through the rest of the store, much to Joonmyun’s personal horror and embarrassment. "So, flour!" Luhan sets a blue plastic measuring cup on the counter and slides the glass bowl of all purpose flour across to Joonmyun. "Will you do the honors?" Joonmyun ignores him, still studying the table of contents at the front of the laminated instruction booklet. "Um," he hums in confusion, scanning the list of recipes and dishes listed on the course. Most of the words are in French, and he doesn't see anything familiar other than Basic Pound Cake and Classic Toll House Chocolate Chippers. "Hey guys!" Yixing swings around the corner of the table to lean his elbows onto their counter. "Did you have a question?" "Yes, I do." Joonmyun taps the laminated menu, his finger as insistent as if one of the secretaries just handed him a memorandum bristling with typos. "When do we learn to make taco meat?" Luhan scrunches his nose in an unattractive snort a second before Yixing's calm composure dissolves into a hoot of laughter. "Taco meat!" the instructor gasps, "why would we learn about taco meat in a baking course?" Joonmyun glares in continued confusion, first at the booklet, then at Luhan's disgusting, evil grin, and then at the instructor. Yixing is still struggling to regain his composure by pressing his lips together to hold back another laugh. "I thought this was supposed to be a cooking class!" "A small and unimportant distinction of the details," Luhan shrugs, and dumps a heaping spoonful of flour into their measuring cup. A cloud of the white powder sifts up and outwards, like a mushroom cloud of Joonmyun's taco cooking dreams disappearing into apocalyptic smoke. "I should've known you'd mess this up somehow," Joonmyun hisses as soon as Yixing glides away out of earshot. He feels a slight thrill of satisfaction at Luhan's wounded expression, the way his eyes widen in affronted shock as Joonmyun's narrow. "But Yixing's only teaching baking courses this summer," Luhan protests, “and the community center coordinator, Mrs. Eckert, you know, she insisted that we had to join his class. That he's the absolute best." "I see." Joonmyun picks up the rubberized handle of the measuring spoon and starts to brush excess flour from the heaping mound in the measuring cup back into the bowl. "Excuse me for being rude, but you're doing that wrong." A short guy in baggy black cargo pants and a matching black T-shirt turns around from the table beside them, a challenging scowl darkening his face. "You're supposed to use the flat edge of a knife blade to level it off. Don't use a spoon, you'll just pack it down." "Knife?" Joonmyun blinks at the pair of owlish eyes staring back at him without blinking. He hadn't been paying much attention to Yixing's introductory speech, he'll be the first to admit. It had started out all perky and cheery, Yixing cracking jokes and then looking surprised when the audience laughed in response. But once the instructor started waxing eloquent about the difference between all purpose flour and self-rising flour Joonmyun's attention took a hike. "Knife. That thing." The other guy points to a stainless steel utensil lying next to the small scale on the counter. It doesn't look very much like a knife, more like an overgrown butter knife than anything, with a wide, flat blade and no serrated edge. "It's actually a spatula for spreading frosting, but it can double as a knife for bread dough or for measuring flour." "Huh, really?" Joonmyun asks in surprise, picking up the implement to turn the handle over in his hand. The hilt is heavy, weighted to give it a nice balance against the blade. "Next time you should pay more attention during explanations, so you don't slow things down too much for the rest of us." "Soo!" a much taller guy hisses, tugging on his partner's apron strings. "Soo, you shouldn't tell people things like that! This is the very first day of the very first session, so you should be nice!" The guy in black just rolls his eyes, pulling away from his partner. "I didn't come here to be nice to people, Chanyeol. I came here to enjoy myself. To destress. God, why am I even explaining this to you, this was all your idea, anyway." Joonmyun's lips twitch into a wry smile at that, since apparently he's not the only one who was dragged here by an enthusiastic friend. Or boyfriend. He squints a little closer at the pair standing across from him and Luhan, at the way Chanyeol's large hands hover over the shorter man's shoulders and waist without actually touching. "Hi! I'm Chanyeol Park, and this here is Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol pats Kyungsoo's shoulders with his floppy hands as he introduces them. "Soo is really nice, he just pretends to be a snapping turtle sometimes. But don't worry! He'll get used to you." I hope so, Joonmyun doesn't say, opting instead to give both of his new acquaintances a polite smile. "Hello, I'm Joonmyun. And this is--" Joonmyun turns to gesture at Luhan but finds the space beside his at the counter unoccupied. "Oh dear, well I don't know where my partner's gotten off to, but I came here with my friend. His name is Luhan." "It's really nice to meet you!" Chanyeol gives a mock salute, knocking his hand into the brim of his baseball cap. "I hope you have fun, and uh, learn lots!" "Thank you," Joonmyun answers in a careful voice, a little wary of his classmate's enthusiasm. "Are you one of the instructors here? Maybe for one of the other courses?" Kyungsoo snorts, dumping his meticulously measured cup of flour into a waiting mixing bowl. "As if. The current extent of Chanyeol's culinary repertoire includes cereal, scrambled eggs, and spaghetti. And by spaghetti, I mean the nasty stuff out of the can with that horrid sweet tomato sauce." Kyungsoo gives a little shiver, his narrow shoulders rustling in the wide sleeves of his oversized T-shirt. "Hey!" Chanyeol gives a low hum, clapping Kyungsoo on both of his shoulders again. "I can make ice cream sundaes too! Don't forget about those." "As if ice cream counts as a dish." Kyungsoo gives his head a sad shake and returns to measuring out his second cup of flour. Chanyeol shrugs and works on rolling up his sleeves, careful to keep each fold accurate so the fabric won't bunch up at his elbows. "Anyway, it's great to meet you, Joonmyun!" Joonmyun likes the way his name sounds in Chanyeol's rich, deep voice, like melted chocolate over salted caramel. Kyunsoo's voice is more like the flour dusting all three of their hands, dry and pure white, as crisp as artificial snow. "Thanks, it's great to meet you all too!" That's when Luhan decides to wander back, looking like the cat who who just gulped a few liters of cream. "Hello, dear neighbor!" His palm thwacks Joonmyun on the back, right between the shoulders blade, no doubt leaving a dusty hand print. "What did I miss while I was gone?" "Eh, nothing on the cooking end. But shall I introduce you to our classmates?" Joonmyun takes a step back and waves to his new friends. "This is Chanyeol, and that's Kyungsoo." "Awww!" Luhan makes a hand heart against his chest and waves. "I'm Myunnie's next door neighbor and bosom friend, Luhan. Very pleased to make you all's acquaintance! You look so cute together, may I add!" "Oh, uh, we're not together!" Chanyeol says with a nervous laugh, stumbling back as he releases his hold on Kyungsoo's shoulders. Kyungsoo just blinks at Luhan, unperturbed as he spoons flour into the measuring cup a second time. "I'm married, actually. And she's a bitch, so I've sworn off love and relationships in general as soon as the divorce goes through." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Luhan looks to Joonmyun with a worried frown, giving him a rapid blink as he bites his lips. "I didn't mean to..." "Yes, I'm sorry to hear that as well," Joonmyun murmurs. He rests a placating hand on Luhan's shoulder. He knows his friend wasn't trying to be rude. Luhan just gets too excited over cute things, whether it's a kindergarten couple holding hands on the playground, or a tousle of newborn puppies sleeping in a heap in cardboard box on a neighbor's porch. "It's over, no regrets, #yolo, etc." Kyungsoo shrugs and drops the spatula slash knife thing back on the counter. "And thank you for your condolences. I'll need all the well wishes I can get since I'm moving in with him." He stabs a finger in Chanyeol's direction. "He's the only friend hospitable enough to put up with me, which means I'm stuck hanging out with the giant indefinitely." "If you ever need a fun place to hang out, you can always come over to Myun's house!" Luhan pats Joonmyun on the head, scrunching his fingers in his hair like Joonmyun is his pet dog in need of a scratch behind the ears. "His house is really cool! He has chandeliers and a spiral staircase. And also kids!" "Hey cool! Chandeliers? Really?" "Wait wait wait!" Joonmyun ignores Chanyeol and pushes Luhan's arm away, turning to pout at him. "Why my house? You can't invite other people over to someone else's house! That's against the rules of hospitality, Luhan!" "Says who?" Luhan grins, and keeps scrunching Joonmyun's hair. "By the way, I needed to get Yixing's phone number, so to make the transaction more natural I invited him over for dinner next Thursday. Turns out he knows Vic, so it'll be the perfect dinner party, eh?" "Luhan..." Joonmyun feels torn between laughing sadly at the ceiling and dumping the flour bowl over Luhan's head. Snowman would be a good look on his neighbor, since his manners are an abomination, after all. But since Yixing knows Victoria and Mrs. Eckert from the community center, chances are he also knows Joonmyun's mother. Sooner or later, Joonmyun will probably have to invite Yixing over as part of his mother's gardening club fundraiser, or an honorary member of the badminton charity league, so he might as well get it over with and be social now. There's really no fighting Luhan when he gets his heart set on a prize. Wait... "So, that's all settled then! I knew you wouldn't refuse me!" Luhan gives Joonmyun an exaggerated wink, the corners of his eyes creasing into starbursts of bright enthusiasm. Kyungsoo's lips press together in a tight bow like he's trying to hold back an amused grin. Joonmyun gives him a shaky smile before turning to hiss at Luhan, "but why do you need Yixing's phone number?" Luhan's cheshire grin that spreads even wider as he rocks on his heels is starting to give Joonmyun a most unpleasant sort of shivers. "Oh, just so I can text him recipes and ideas if I get sudden baking inspiration! And then if I ever work on a script about a bakery I'll have his number handy for consultation. No special reason." Luhan whistles through his teeth as he tips their next cup of flour into the bowl and promptly sneezes on the cloud of dust. "Yeah, Xing's pretty chill,” Chanyeol confirms, twisting the heavy ring on his pinky. “I've known him since college. We were both in the music department together." "Oh cool!" Luhan's eyes widen into uneven ovals, nearly the size of the small brown eggs lined on the counter in front of them. "Does he sing? Play piano? Please tell me everything!" "Yes to all of the above!" Chanyeol's eyes sparkle as Kyungsoo's roll in fatigue. "But mainly he plays guitar. His hands are quite talented." Chanyeol follows up that statement with a wink that has Luhan clawing at Joonmyun's forearm like a distressed kitten. "Does someone have a little crush?" Chanyeol singsongs, and this time Joonmyun feels like face planting in the mixing bowl because suddenly everything makes sense. "Luhan," he murmurs in a weak voice, "please tell me you didn't invite our cooking instructor over because you’re planning to hit on him in front of my innocent children." "Noooo! Why would I do that?" Luhan shakes his head until the wisps of his tousled blonde hair whip above his eyebrows. "Jongdae would probably sabotage my wooing attempts, anyway. Oh hey, Yixing is looking our way! Smile!" Luhan hisses. He grabs Joonmyun's hand and lifts it like a sock puppet to wave at their instructor. Yixing gives Luhan a wink in return before noticing Joonmyun, at which he rolls his shoulders forward in a shallow bow and mouths, "see you Thursday!" before turning to help another student near the front. "See?" Luhan hums in triumph, pushing up his sleeves to grab an egg in each hand. "Thursday is gonna be fun!" ✌ ✌ ✌ When Joonmyun marches out through the opening doors of the elevator onto the fifth floor of his downtown office building, fun is the last thought on his mind. Monday mornings carry a special sort of thrill to him, like the burn of caffeine at the back of his throat after a weekend of sleeping in. He knows it's silly, but there's always a small slice of his mind that is anxious to get back to the office to check up on things. He needs to make sure the copy machine didn't run out of cyan ink, that there are no emergency emails lurking in the general inbox that Amber forgot to forward him, and that the office building hasn’t--god forbid--burned to the ground. Joonmyun knows it's ridiculous to worry about things like that. His team in the Fresh Fresh branch are all hard workers with enough foresight to anticipate and take care of any incidents under their control. And the rest of the potential disasters on his worry list--well, there's no use worrying about the things no one can predict, Joonmyun tells himself as he strips off his suit jacket and lays it over the arms of his extra chair. He fills his favorite mug with coffee from the carafe in the hall and settles into his chair to pull up his email. The floor is still quiet at this hour, most of the cubicles empty under the darkened overhead lights. Joonmyun likes being one of the first to arrive, both due to his need to check on things before the rest of the team shows up, and also because he abhors idling on the highway in end-to-end rush hour traffic. He rarely beats Amber to the office, though, and he appreciates her loyalty as well as the fresh coffee waiting on the refreshment table in the mornings. He inhales the soft wisps of steam wafting up from his Donald Duck coffee mug, one that Jongdae picked out for him at Disneyworld last winter. There's a few chinks in the handle from when Jongdae tried to wash the dishes all by himself early one Saturday at 4 AM, but Joonmyun adores the memories attached to this cup too much to replace it with a generic one from the department store. His email loads to display a few dozen new messages of varying degrees of urgency. Joonmyun keeps tabs on his work emails on the weekends, skimming the notifications on his phone. He doesn't bother with replies unless it's something truly urgent though, since he values the free time and wants to focus on spending the precious hours at home with his family. That's another reason he shows up at 6 AM on Mondays, to power through the messages before it’s time to get down to business. He fires off a few complaints to distributors to check up on overdue supply deliveries and bookmarks several threads for follow up that need verification with some of the other team members. Pushing his chair back from his desk with a satisfied sigh, Joonmyun stands to stretch out his back. TIme to go top off his coffee and check the ink levels on the copy machines. The door to the copy room is cracked open, and light spills through at the end of the hallway as Joonmyun approaches. Amber must be in there, sorting out the preliminary drafts of the financial report he has to present to the board members on Tuesday. Joonmyun picks up his pace, parking himself just in front of the door. "Hi~" Joonmyun calls through the narrow opening, stretching his lips wide to give his best Stitch impersonation. Ever since Amber caught him practicing the dialogues from Lilo & Stitch with Jongdae in the break room one time, that's been their customary greeting to each other when none of the other staff is around. Joonmyun frowns when no immediate answer is forthcoming. He presses his cheek to the cool wood laminate of the door and tries again, "hello~! Goowud morlneeng!" The door is flung open, knocking Joonmyun off balance. His steaming hot coffee, freshly refilled to the brim, splashes down the front of his gray linen slacks and pale lavender shirt and paints the length of the door frame. "Oh--! My god!" Standing in the doorway is not Amber as expected, but a guy just a little taller than Joonmyun, his eyes spread wide behind a pair of dark frames. He's wearing an expensive looking suit, accented with expert tailoring around the bust and shoulders, but his frizzy bleached brown hair pokes out from the band of a ball cap with the brim turned backwards. "You scared the shhh--andelier out of me!" he gasps with a shudder, and Joonmyun glimpses a wad of gum mashed between his back molars. "Yes, well," Joonmyun sniffs, trying to steady his shaking fingers around the handle of his mug as he wipes at the coffee dripping from his nose and chin with his other hand. The scalding liquid is still searing the fronts of his thighs, and the front of his shirt is soaked through and clinging to his chest. "I thought you were Amber. Where on earth is Amber? If she's not--in here?" Joonmyun knows he's not making much sense, but he's too shaken up and in serious discomfort due his second morning shower to explain in more eloquent terms. Not to mention his ribs are collapsing in on his curdling stomach due to the embarrassment consuming his dripping face in flames. The way the guy--dude--person intruding in his office and his sacred copy room has Joonmyun flustered. The way his dark eyes and gaping mouth continue to trace the length of Joonmyun's soaked torso, from his shiny belt buckle up to the dark liquid accumulating in a ticklish puddle at his collarbones, is especially unnerving. "I don't know who Amber is, sorry." He pulls on the band of his cap and has the decency to look apologetic once he's done ogling Joonmyun's chest through his ruined shirt. "And sorry for, uh, the mishap here." His voice is calm, as if this were an accident and not completely his fault for banging the door open like a hyperactive four-year-old. Even Jongdae knows better, Joonmyun thinks with a huff, opening his mouth to demand an explanation for why this person has intruded on the sanctuary of his office on a perfectly nice and peaceful Monday morning before 7:00 AM. "But, wow!" The dude in the doorway flashes Joonmyun with the grayish lump of his chewing gum again as he laughs aloud. "Did you really just greet me in a Stitch voice? Or was I imagining things? I'm usually not fully awake at this god-awful hour." He yawns, not bothering to cover his mouth or its contents with his hand, and Joonmyun frowns in distaste. "No, I didn't greet you, to be exact. I thought I was speaking to Amber, my secretary." "Ahhh!" The guy throws his head back in a slow nod, the brim of his cap nudging the back of his starched shirt collar. "You must be Director Kim then? I'm Baekhyun, the newbie. Pleased to make your acquaintance." He stretches out his right hand for a shake, but Joonmyun gives him a tight smile, wiping his damp palm on his soaking pants. Baekhyun seems to get the idea, dropping his hand back to his side. "I didn't realize you'd show up quite so...on time." Joonmyun's left eye twitches as he suddenly remembers he's wearing his favorite wristwatch today, an antique timepiece that is currently trapped under the sodden cuff of his shirt. "Ah yeah, well! Didn't want to be late on the first day, you know!" Baekhyun scratches at the lobe of his ear, eyeing Joonmyun with a nervous smile. "Amber let me in before she went down to pick up the bagel delivery from the lobby. I was trying to figure out the copy machine but...there's some kind of error message?" "Error? What kind of--!" "Ah, I'm not too sure, sorry!" Baekhyun shrugs and Joonmyun can feel his heart sinking along with the tailored corners of his new intern's shoulders. "I'm not that great with technical stuff." Joonmyun takes a deep breath, shifting his shoes in the brown puddle collecting on the tile at his feet as he tries to ignore the flood of mental images of flashing warning lights and out-of-ink notices plaguing his beloved copy machine. First things first. "I'd be happy to show you around, and help you with the copier. But perhaps you'll excuse me to the restroom momentarily. The janitor will be very unhappy with me if I track this mess all over the building." "Oh, of course! I'll just--" Baekhyun glances between the empty copy room and the Men's room at the other end of the hall. "I'll just sit tight in here, boss! Take your time changing!" "Thank you," Joonmyun sighs, and waddles away to go get cleaned up. "Try not to break or spill anything while I’m gone, please." "Roger that!" Baekhyun salutes, and slips back through the open doorway. ✌ ✌ ✌ "Hey!" Luhan raps on the screen door before pushing into the house. He neglects to wipe his unlaced work boots on the mat and traipses right into the living room. "Yo, Myun! Hullo, Vic!" Joonmyun peels his gaze away from the financial column in the daily paper to give his neighbor a weak smile. "Um, hi. You're early. Was there a change in plans, or...?" Victoria backs out of the pantry with a few boxes of pasta stacked in her arms. "Oh Lu! please don't tell me he's coming early. I haven't started prepping the salad and Jongdae still hasn't had his bath yet." She tosses the pasta onto the counter. The dry rotini pieces hiss against the insides of the cardboard boxes. "Do you want me to get him into the tub?" Joonmyun folds the paper in quarters and is halfway out of his seat before Victoria nudges him back onto the chair with a poke at his shoulder. "You stay put, Mr. Kim. You've been on your feet all day. Unless you really want to do the honors." Joonmyun gives her a tired smile and slumps against the chair back. He takes over most of the childcare tasks when he's around so he can spend more time with the boys, but Jongdae's bath time is an event he doesn't mind missing out on a few nights a week. Jongdae hates soap and toothpaste almost as much as he hates getting wet. The adult in charge of getting him clean has to physically haul him into the filled tub. From there it's a harrying six or seven minutes of flinging water and high pitched screams as someone tries to wipe down his limbs with a cloth and rub shampoo into the ends of his hair. In the winter it's not as bad because he can get by with a bath every other day, but in the summer it's a struggle every night. Jongdae comes in with feet blackened on the bottoms from running around barefoot on the asphalt and kneeling in the mud. Even on Joonmyun's most exhausting days there's no way he'll let his little munchkin crawl between the clean bed sheets that filthy. The whole family is dreading the day when Jongdae gets strong enough to fight his way out, but hopefully by then he'll have developed his own sense of appreciation for personal hygiene. "You," Victoria demands, brandishing a rubber spatula in Luhan's direction and pulling Joonmyun from his musings. "why are you here and what do you need?" "Wow, so welcoming and friendly." Luhan slides his hips onto the kitchen table to perch on the corner of it as his seat. "All I wanted was to wish you all a Happy Midsummer's Thursday. And also to borrow some sugar?" He bats his eyelashes as he extends a tin measuring cup to Victoria. She narrows her eyes as she rips off the freshness seal at the top of a pasta box. "I'm not loaning you anything until you promise it's for good and not for evil. I don't want to held responsible as an accomplice if the fire department shows up in the neighborhood, but on your doorstep for once." "Hey! Since when have I done anything remotely evil in anyone's kitchen!" Luhan recoils in feigned horror and almost falls off his perch. "You seem to have selective memory issues," Joonmyun hums from behind his newspaper. "Although I don't blame you. I envy your subconscious and it's ability to block from memory that green slime incident you and Jongdae cooked up in the kitchen last winter. And does the “Boston Creme Pie Massacre” ring any bells?" Luhan is glaring at him when Joonmyun dares to peek over the top of his pages with a pointed smirk. "For your information, I'm trying to do you all a favor. I'm baking us a cake to bring to dinner, but unfortunately I ran short on dark brown sugar." Luhan sighs, and even the wiry waves of his hair wilt along with his posture. "Ah, trying to impress the dinner company, are we?" Victoria teases, but she's already opening the pantry door to pull out the sack of sugar. "Here, how much do you need?" "A cupful." He hands over the measuring cup so she can pack down the sugar with the back of a spoon. "Thanks, Vic! I owe you one." Luhan blows her a kiss as he accepts the full cup from her sticky fingers. "No problem, just try not to set anything on fire like this idiot, ok?" She rinses the granules from her fingers in the sink and flicks the excess water at Joonmyun's face. He shields himself with the pages of the sports section before resurfacing to shoot her a dirty look. "And don't worry, Lu, no matter what happens with the cake. I'll make sure to burn the pasta sauce just a little so my cooking doesn't show yours up." She winks as she scrubs her dripping palms on a towel. "As if!" Luhan tugs the wrinkles out of the canvas fishing vest thrown over a paint stained T-shirt and his faded cutoffs. "No need to dumb down the level of your cooking expertise, dear neighbor! My baking skills can stand on their own two feet." Joonmyun snorts as Luhan wiggles his fingers like he's about to perform a magic trick at some poor kid's birthday party. "I think most cake stands only have one foot, Lu. But good luck anyway, I think you'll need it." Luhan scoffs, scraping the toe of his dirty boot along the clean tiles next to Joonmyun's chair. "We shall see about that! Failmyun!" "Don't forget to change before you come back for dinner, Lu!" Victoria calls after him as the screen door bangs shut. He doesn't return until three hours later at the appointed dinner hour, this time in a clean plaid shirt and a tartan kilt. The color scheme makes Joonmyun's eye ache, the flamingo pink and orange sherbert stripes of the shirt clashing royally with the deep reds and greens of the pleated folds swishing at the backs of his knees. At least he's not in zebra stripes though, and Joonmyun consoles himself with the thought that at least Luhan's lower half will be concealed under the drape of the tablecloth for most of the evening. "Why are you at the back door?" Joonmyun holds the screen door open as Victoria accepts the cake keeper from Luhan's arms. "Shhh! Is he here yet? Or should I go hide in the bathroom?" Luhan hisses in a whisper, creeping into the back hall on tip-toe. "You mean Yixing? No, not yet. But no one is hiding in my bathroom!" Joonmyun sighs. He knows what it's like to feel nervous before a date, getting his hopes up for yet another disappointment when the person across from him at the restaurant makes a disparaging comment about children or previously married men before he has a chance to convince them otherwise with his charm. But Luhan is being ridiculous, Yixing isn't even his date (yet). And besides, the bathroom still looks like a warzone after Jongdae's shower, and Luhan's arrival interrupted Joonmyun's emergency clean up endeavors. "You may have a seat and a glass of milk while we wait, though." Luhan follows Joonmyun's gesture to see the boys sitting around the kitchen table, gulping down twin glasses of milk while they share the comics spread from the paper. "Hey, guys!" "Hi, Uncle Lu!" The unbuttoned cuff of Jongin's purple and black flannel shirt flaps at his wrist when he waves. Joonmyun can't understand how he isn't suffocating in such a warm shirt in the summer weather, but as long as his son isn't endangering his health he won't say anything about Jongin's self expression through the medium of fashion, alternative though it may be. "Yo, kids! How's my man, Jongdae?" Luhan ruffles Jongdae's hair with his knuckles. "Please examine!" Jongdae holds up a fold of the newsprint, the stock reports Joonmyun only got halfway through scanning before he got called away on bathroom duty. The margins are now covered in a complex series of abstract swirls with a T-rex emerging from the center of the Dow Jones' quotes. "Um, wow," Luhan coughs out as he takes a seat, once again, on the edge of the table, completely ignoring the chair Joonmyun just pulled out for him. "That dino looks so real it could eat my fingers off! Do you contract your kid to draw product logos, Myun?" Joonmyun rolls his eyes and passes Luhan the glass of milk when Victoria finishes filling it over the sink. "Child labor is illegal, Lu. Don't even think about recruiting my baby for your nefarious evil doings." "Why does everyone keep calling me evil? I swear the cake turned out like a dreamboat! Like a slice of heaven!" Luhan’s face morphs from a stormy pout into beams of proud sunshine as he points at the plastic cake keeper on the counter. "Oh really?" Victoria pops the frosted plastic lid off with careful fingers. The cake underneath does indeed look like a heavenly confection, the layers a perfect round shape, stacked evenly under a coating of pale pink frosting styled in delicate swirls. "Hm, not bad! I just hope the flavor measures up to expectation," she teases with a wink as she places the box out of the way next to the toaster. "No worries there." Luhan brushes imaginary dust from both of his shoulders, and Joonmyun is surprised he doesn't have a pair of epaulets pinned on to match his tasseled sporran. "By the way, nice kilt. Are you working on the screenplay for Braveheart: The Sequel?" Victoria turns off the stove burner and props a steel colander over the ledge of the double-basin sink. A rich cloud of starchy steam perfumes the air, drifting out through the open window above the sink when she dumps out the pasta for rinsing. "Excuse you, no! We're working on a biographical documentary on the life of Andrew Carnegie, the ultimate rags-to-riches story reexamined through the post modern lens." Luhan straightens the heavy gilt pin attached at his hip. "This is obviously a study of the man in his later years." "Hey, Dae, why don't you show Uncle Lu the new piece you’re learning on the piano?" Joonmyun suggests as he ducks into the hall. "Affirmative!" Jongdae slips to the floor and scampers past his family into the living room, where the ledge of the upright is already strewn with the pages of his new sheet music. "Daaamn, Myun!" Joonmyun hears Luhan's impressed whistle as he returns to the bathroom to finish wiping up the puddles on the floor. "Your kid's already tackling Chopin? Can I claim him as my offspring in front of your dinner guest? Or like, claim relation to the family in general to capitalize on the musical genius flowing through you all's veins?" "Um, don't you already claim to be an honorary Kim family member?" That's Jongin's voice, and Joonmyun smiles in pride as he slings a wad of hair from the shower drain into the bathroom trash. "Aye, aye, sonny! That I do!" Luhan replies in a butchered Irish accent, and Joonmyun once again reconsiders the meaning of his life goals, as well as the validity of his earlier statement about no hiding in the bathroom. Jongdae gets a few bars into the first etude, stumbling a bit with the phrasing but hitting more or less the right chords. The bell rings as Joonmyun is wiping his hands on the fresh towel he just threw over the rack in the bathroom. He hurries down the hall to open the front door, putting his most hospitable smile into place as he he unlatches the brass handle. "Good evening, and welcome to my home!" Joonmyun offers Yixing his hand for a shake before ushering him into the entryway. "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Kim!" Yixing is in summer weight casual wear much the same as Joonmyun’s, but he doesn't seem perturbed by Luhan's interesting choice of outfit when the other guest shoulders his way in beside Joonmyun. "Hey, man! Thanks for coming over!" Luhan guides Yixing through the foyer to the dining room with a friendly hand on his elbow. Joonmyun rolls his eyes at the sculpted plaster of his foyer ceiling, a bit annoyed but also relieved that Luhan has apparently decided to take over the role of host for this evening. "Oh, and this is for you, Mr. Kim!" Yixing stops in the entrance to the dining room, turning to hand Joonmyun a small cardboard box printed with rainbow swirls. "Those are some all natural, certified organic food dyes for your future baking adventures!" "Please, just call me Joonmyun!" he says as he accepts the gift, realizing that he doesn't even know Yixing's surname. "And goodness, you didn't have to bring me anything!" "Aw, of course I did!" Yixing's friendly smile extends to his kind eyes, his whole face glowing with warmth as he pats Luhan's hand still clasped at his elbow. His smile is handsome, bringing out the dimples in his chin, and Joonmyun feels a tingle of envy at Luhan's good taste. "Apologies if I'm intruding. Lu assured me with a dictionary of emoticons that I wasn't, and to be honest, I could never turn down a home cooked meal by Vic." "Oh, not at all!" Joonmyun smiles again, starting to relax with Yixing's easy manners. "We're almost ready to eat, but let me call the kids. I think they're still messing around on the piano." The strains of music still echo from the hall, but the boys have switched up their repertoire. It sounds like Jongin is plunking out "Heart and Soul" at the end of the keyboard while Jongdae adds a descant of trickling chords on the highest octave. "Ooh, piano! Do you play too?" Yixing pulls a chair out from the table to take a seat. The wooden feet scud over the matted pile of the faded wool rug as Joonmyun backs into the hall. "Nah, but their mother did." Joonmyun gives him another smile before swinging out of the room as Luhan climbs into the seat across from Yixing's. "Hey guys! It's time to eat! Don't forget to be polite when you greet our guest, ok?" "Acknowledged!" Jongin calls, hopping down from the piano bench to help his brother scoot it up to the keyboard. They file into the dining room after Joonmyun, Victoria bringing up the rear with a steaming pot of homemade marinara that's been simmering on the back burner since breakfast. "I hope you all are hungry!" she says, offering the pasta server to Yixing before lifting the warming towel from a tray of garlic bread. "Oh, but be sure and save some room for dessert, we have a special surprise!" "Oh yeah?" Yixing looks up from his plate. His lips form a curious 'o' as he blinks in languid brushes of his eyelashes. "And who is responsible for arranging this surprise?" He cocks an eyebrow at Victoria, and then Joonmyun, but neither of them say anything as Luhan bounces and grins in his chair. "Surprise," Jongdae grunts. He's propped higher than all of them tonight, the final compromise to conclude the power struggle over the booster seat situation being one half of the phone book pile stacked on his red plastic seat. "That meaning is anticipate, not interrogate!" "Shh!" Joonmyun hisses, "don't be rude, Dae!" but Yixing winks at Jongdae and then his father. "That's ok, Joonmyun. The kid's right. I'll just have to sit tight and anticipate!" Yixing hands down the tureen of tomato sauce after ladling a crimson flood over the top of his curly noodles. Joonmyun has to look away in disgust as Luhan makes sheep eyes at the Yixing as he accepts the sauce from him. The rest of the dinner goes smoothly though, once everyone has a pile of food on their plate. Jongdae focuses on slicing his rotini apart into thin disks of severed noodle. He chews each one thoroughly before slicing the next so he's too busy to spout anymore inflammatory comments. Jongin power chews through his first helping before scarfing down two more, and Victoria looks pleased as the peachy pink icing on Luhan's cake when Yixing accepts seconds and thirds as well. Luhan is unusually quiet once the meal gets underway. He stirs his noodles around with his fork until the dark green leaves of the wilted salad mix into the jumble of pasta and mushrooms and sauce. The conversation flows easily enough though, Victoria quizzing Yixing on the details of what's been up to since college their days, since the two apparently attended the same school as Chanyeol. That's not much of a surprise, really. Most of the high school graduates from the towns around the area attend one of the local public universities. Joonmyun's the odd one out for having gone away to another city to study business. It's not much of a surprise either, then, that Victoria knows Chanyeol too, though she doesn't mention him much or at all. The name had sounded familiar though when Joonmyun met him in the cooking workshop on Saturday, so she must've mentioned him and Joonmyun hadn't remembered he heard the name from her at some point. "Is everybody ready for dessert?" Victoria asks, scraping the last of the salad in with the cold veggies. All that's left of the garlic bread is a few crumbled bits of crust dotting the woven napkin, and the remaining pasta is the just the right amount for Joonmyun to take in his lunch box to work tomorrow. "Anyone want the rest of the noodles? Yixing? Lu? Myun?" They all shake their heads, murmuring their compliments to the chef as she stands to carry the serving dishes into the kitchen. Jongin hops up to help, and Joonmyun gives him an approving nod as he balances the the heavy dish of pasta sauce with careful hands. "Dessert?" Jongdae repeats. He squints at Joonmyun in anticipation until the constellations of freckles dotting his cheeks merge and change orbit, realigning into new forms. "Yup! Just hold your horses, I think Ms. Victoria is bringing in the cake just now." Jongin is the one who returns bearing the cake, the scalloped edges of the milky white glass pedestal digging into his palms. Joonmyun and Yixing push the rest of the dishes aside to make space for the cake, stacking them at the end of the table as Jongin presses his palms into his thighs to relieve the pressure embossed into his palms in little red half moons. "Oh, oh! Wait just a sec before you cut it!" Victoria hurries in after Jongin, a long handled lighter in one hand. "We bought candles to make it a celebration, but I can't find them anywhere in the kitchen! Dae, have you seen them, sweetie?" Jongdae shakes his head once, twice, his gaze shifting to the collection of noodle bits decorating his lap. "Are you sure? I think they might have gotten thrown in your backpack with the art supplies we picked up at the same time. I'll go check, sorry for the wait, guys!" She hands Jongin the lighter and steps out into the hall, but Jongdae slithers out of his seat and scampers under Joonmyun and Yixing's chairs to dash ahead of her. Joonmyun gets up, dropping his napkin to his seat when he hears the door to Jongdae's bedroom slam and a subsequent knock from Victoria, asking to be let in to check the shopping bags. "Jongdae, sweetheart! What's wrong? Can you open the door?" Victoria raps again but steps aside when Joonmyun approaches. He leans a fist against the doorframe above his head, curving his shoulders forward to press his cheek against the smooth surface of the white door. "Dae baby," Joonmyun calls, but Jongdae doesn't answer. All Joonmyun can hear is the faint rustling of plastic and the slam of the closet door. "Sweetheart, what is going on in there! Can you open the door please? Or daddy is going to use the key." "No! Tarry for moment!" Jongdae gasps, his voice muffled through the heavy wood of the door. "Please!" "Ok, that's it," Joonmyun sighs. He shares a worried look with Victoria as he stretches on tiptoe to feel for the skeleton key propped on the dusty top ledge of the doorframe. Besides the fact that Jongdae is acting strange, that response makes Joonmyun concerned. His preschooler's standard phrase for requests is "I solicit you", something he learned off a junk mail flyer for window installation. When Jongdae reverts to basic words like "please" and "no", that's when Joonmyun starts to worry and whips out the thermometer and vitamin C tablets. Joonmyun fits the slender key in the doorknob and forces the lock until it clicks open. Jongdae is on the far side of the room next to the bookshelf, spread eagle with his back to the wall. His backpack is unzipped in the middle of the bedroom floor, a plastic sack blooming out of the top with a collection of crayons, the box of birthday candles, and a set of poster paints spilling onto the area rug. "Um, son?" Joonmyun gulps nervously at the sight of an orange handled paintbrush, the synthetic fibers at the top crusted with drying globs of violet paint. Jongdae just shakes his head until his short dark hair flies like a hurricane around his ears. "Dae..." Victoria slips past Joonmyun into the bedroom, stepping over the mess on the floor to take one of Jongdae's balled up fists in her hand. His rigid posture melts at her touch and he slinks away from the wall, revealing the sweeping strokes of a chinese character that stretches from the window sill to the edge of the bookshelf. The heavy lines of purple paint are still drying on the wallpaper, glossy and wet in the middle though the outlines look matte and dusky to the touch. He must have started it before dinner, in between his bath and his piano duet with Jongin. "Wow, what does that say, Dad?" Jongin slips under Joonmyun's arm still propped against the door frame. He stretches up on his toes to get a good look at the graffiti on the flowered wallpaper. "Sweet fried baloney!" Luhan whistles through his teeth as he edges into the doorway, Yixing trailing on his heels. "I mean I knew your kid was good at art and stuff, but holy baloney Joonmyun, this takes the cake!" Joonmyun rests his forehead against the doorpost, focusing on the coolness of the wood against his skin as he breathes in and exhales in slow puffs. His chest expands with pride at Luhan's admiration but just as quickly deflates when he thinks about the work it will take to strip off the ruined wallpaper and try to patch up the spot. Or maybe he can try to spot clean it first? "Wait, wait, your four-year-old did that calligraphy?" Yixing's voice is textured with awe as he cranes over Luhan's shoulder for a better look. "But why did he paint the character for 'thunder'? It hasn't rained all week." "Beats me!" Luhan hums, giving his head a slow shake. "I know exactly why." Joonmyun rakes a hand through his frazzled hair to resist the urge to scrape claw marks down his own face. "Someone gave Dae a calligraphy book for Christmas, and he's been practicing the characters on the backs of all the junk mail flyers and coupons ever since." "Hey, don't look at me! I gave him books so reading would keep him out of trouble! I never dreamed he'd start practicing on your furniture!" Luhan blinks rapidly, giving Joonmyun his most innocent look with his front teeth biting into his lower lip like a rabbit. "Nah, it's my fault. I shouldn't have left him with the art supplies unsupervised like that. I got too busy fixing dinner I forgot to unpack his bag." Victoria gives Jongdae's shoulder a gentle pat as she arches both her well shaped brows in his direction. "But now you know better, Mr., alright? No more artwork on the walls or there will be consequences." Jongdae nods, his chin dipping against his hunched shoulder. "But why 'thunder'?" Yixing muses, still intrigued by the word choice. Jongdae shrugs and Joonmyun gives his son a small smile. "That one just happens to be his favorite on Thursdays, right Dae?" The pizza coupons that come on Thursdays always end up covered in the character for 'thunder', and the Sunday morning crossword puzzle gets graffitied with 'moon'. "Affirmative," Jongdae whispers. His chin is still tucked against his collarbones and he looks like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Joonmyun sighs and takes a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing when the rush of new oxygen hits his bloodstream. "Why don't we all sit down and have cake? We'll worry about cleaning this up in the morning." "Cleaning it up? You can't be serious!" Yixing tugs on Joonmyun's wrist as they file back down the hall. "Your kid's a genius! He even tried to copy the running style characters. Like, his form isn't perfect but it shows a natural style, you've got to get him into art classes. Please don't erase his hard work, it takes a lot of bravery to express your heart in a purple painting that’s nearly as big as you are." Joonmyun blinks back at Yixing's earnest face, his cheekbones casting shadows across his jaw line as they move from the dark hallway back into the dining room. He's not sure what to think of his new acquaintance telling him how to maintain his wallpaper, much less parent his child. "Bravery, huh?" Joonmyun watches as Jongin helps Victoria unstack dessert plates from the bottom shelf of the china cabinet. Jongdae is hanging back behind Victoria, one finger strumming his lips like harp strings as if he's not sure if he's still in trouble or not. Joonmyun hustles past Luhan to kneel next to his son, giving him a tight squeeze and a peck on the forehead to reassure him. "I'm not mad, ok?" he whispers, and Jongdae nods at him with solemn eyes. "And if you really want to keep your new painting, I guess we can negotiate." Jongdae's thin frown blooms into a hesitant smile, solidifying into a grin as Joonmyun whisks him up and carries him back to his seat at the table. Jongin has the colored candles distributed in even rows across the top of the cake and Victoria stands poised with the lighter in hand. "We ready?" She snaps the button on the handle and the end of the long black barrel flares to life. "What are we supposed to sing?" Yixing blinks in amusement as Victoria finishes lighting the wicks and slides the cake stand in front of his place at the table. "I dunno, pick your favorite song?" "Hm, now that is hard, it might take me a few weeks to figure out my favorite..." Yixing taps his chin with a thoughtful finger. "Weeks?" Jongdae gasps, his eyes widening in horror. "Inexpedient!" He opens his mouth as wide as it will go, eyes clenched shut until the corners of his eyes crease like wrinkled crayon wrappers, and starts to sing the jingle from the TV commercial for his favorite cereal. Yixing listens with a gaping mouth of amazement, his slack lips curving up into a grin as Jongdae finishes the last line of the ditty with a sustained high note. "Bravo!" he claps as soon as Jongdae sinks back into his seat, flushed and with a satisfied smile. "You didn't tell me your kids could sing, too! Any other hidden talents lined up for me to enjoy this evening?" "Ah, I don't know if you can call graffiti-ing my vintage European wallpaper entertainment," Joonmyun groans, his voice sliding into a laugh. He's grinning as he accepts a plate of cake from Victoria though, because he can't hide his pleasure at hearing his talented offspring extolled. Jongin makes a funny face and coughs into his napkin, dropping the yellow and pink striped candle he just licked clean. Joonmyun shoots him a look of concern but Jongin returns him a wobbly smile, scraping a thin bite of cake onto his fork. He plunges it between his lips as Yixing follows suit with a large chunk of the fluffy cake balanced on the tines of his fork. Luhan is the next to splutter, spewing his first bite back onto his plate as Yixing coughs delicately into his glass of water. "Don't--don't eat it," Luhan says in a shaky voice before Joonmyun can taste his own forkful. "It's really--salty!" He gags and grabs Jongin's drink, gulping it down like a camel arrived at an oasis after a long desert trek. "I'm--!" "I'm really sorry guys!" Joonmyun cuts in before Luhan can choke out his next sentence. "I must have mixed up the salt and sugar while I was baking today!" Luhan flaps his lips like a fish for a moment before his expression settles into a grateful pout. Joonmyun inclines his head in a slight shake and Luhan flashes him a hand heart before Yixing can turn his head to notice their interaction. "Oh, so this is your surprise, Joonmyun?" Yixing chuckles, his voice grating on another slight cough as he pats Joonmyun's shoulder. "The aesthetic is great but… That's ok! We'll work on cake baking in our class this weekend! You'll get the hang of it, eventually." "Thanks," Joonmyun smiles, trying his best to look sheepish about the incident. "And really, sorry!" "No harm done!" Victoria whisks their plates into a haphazard stack and hefts the pile in her arms. "I'll be right back with the triple fudge ice cream, folks!" Both the boys cheer in response, Jongin getting up to return the uneaten cake to the kitchen. "Yeah, no harm at all!" Yixing leans back in his chair to stretch. His eyes twinkle as he studies Joonmyun's face. "I'm just glad you didn't get generous with the baking powder! That would have been a bitter mistake." "Ahah! Bitter!" Luhan laughs as if Yixing just made a hilarious pun, but Joonmyun's smile just tightens because he has no idea what baking powder is. They demolish the entire quart of chocolate ice cream until nothing's left but a few dark drips in the bottom of their bowls. Jongdae is falling asleep against his father's shoulder as Joonmyun helps Victoria stack the empty dishes. "Looks like it's just about bedtime." Yixing voice is soft as he lifts his napkin from his lap and folds it into a neat triangle on the table. "I'd best be on my way, then." "Thanks for coming!" Luhan says with a wink, and Yixing grins back. "Thank you all for having me, I've quite enjoyed myself this evening!" "Yeah, we'll have to do this again some time!" Joonmyun escorts his guests to the front door, flipping on the porch light so Yixing can find his way back to his car on the dark driveway. "Just give me a ring--or Luhan, I guess--when you've a free evening to spare us." "Will do!" Yixing tweaks Jongdae's cheeks before hopping down the front steps. "Thanks for the food coloring!" Victoria waves from the doorway. "And take care, Xing!" "Night, guys!" Joonmyun waits until Yixing's Camry disappears around the corner before closing the front door and sliding the chain lock across the frame. The last thing he sees through the front window as he's drawing the curtains is Luhan whooping in triumph as he crosses the strip of grass between their houses with a leap, his kilts swinging in the midsummer night's breeze. Joonmyun shakes his head, though he might as well consider the evening a success on Luhan's account, anyway. And it's always a pleasure to make a new friend. ✌ ✌ ✌ On Saturday morning Joonmyun awakes to the soft hum and glowing rainbow lights of his phone on the nightstand. He almost always wakes up before his main alarm, 2NE1's "I Hate You", starts to blare through the speakers. The second alarm is only there in cases of extreme sleep deprivation when Joonmyun's excellently calibrated circadian clock ceases to function properly. But today is a beautiful day, the sun is streaming through the cracks in the pale blue venetian blinds covering the window, and Joonmyun doesn't have to leave the cozy cocoon of his freshly pressed sheets until he decides he's ready. This is why he loves his weekends. The first item on his daily routine after silencing the waterfall noises of his alarm is to sip a glass of mineral water while he checks the stock report on his tablet. After skimming his work inbox and forwarding a few memes and baby animal videos to his kids from his personal email, Joonmyun finally gets to his favorite part of his morning check up on things--googling his product brands and enjoying the positive customer reviews. Online product feedback for Fresh Fresh is almost always positive these days, which is no surprise. Joonmyun's team puts their hearts and feminine souls into ensuring every woman who buys their products has a more than satisfactory user experience. Joonmyun browses the latest reviews on Amazon and the top consumer and home & family websites, forwarding screenshots of any particularly useful comments or potential issues to Amber and PR team. He also saves a few unnecessary ones for himself, just in case he needs a little pick-me-up on a rainy Tuesday afternoon someday in the future. Joonmyun saves Youtube and Youku for last of all, since videos are one of his personal favorites when it comes to social media. There is a new review of the tampon design introduced in November on a popular women's health channel uploaded by a young woman in Quebec. Joonmyun skips from the first 10 seconds of playtime to the end and forwards that link to Amber as well, since he gets lost in the quick cadence of her French speech, but she was smiling through the whole review so that is a good sign at least. Once Joonmyun has skimmed the headlines and reassured himself yet again that no, there are no reports of the corporate building or his office downtown having burned to cinders, he takes a deep breath, stretches his bare limbs along the cushy, king size mattress to luxuriate in the silk slide of the Egyptian cotton sheets, and opens his browser bookmarks. He smiles to himself, lips curling against the soft edges of his summer weight duvet as the first favorited clip loads. It's the intro segment of a Japanese TV drama, some soap opera type of noona romance that Joonmyun hasn't had the time to indulge in watching since undergrad, but he still searches up the credits for each episode of the top shows every season. His Japanese isn't much better than his basic French, just enough to be cordial in meetings with foreign investors and business partners. Still, it's enough for him to understand the voice over as the video montage of last week's highlights rolls: this program broadcast is brought to you by the following sponsors... Even though he knows what's coming next and has the whole spiel memorized from watching the same segment at the start of the previous six week's segments, Joonmyun sits up against the headboard, propping his tablet against the slope of his bent knees for better viewing as his skin starts to tingle with excitement. Shiseido! the soft female voice announces, Toyota! KDDI! Joonmyun bites his lips in anticipation as his spine surges with energy. Just two more sponsors before he will hear what he's waiting for--Dcomo! Glica! R and-do V! It's music to his ears, the name of his brand's subsidiary broadcast in a foreign accent at the start of another nation's top grossing advertising slot. Joonmyun grins at the company logo displayed in white at the bottom of the clip and rewinds the video to the beginning to enjoy the voice over again. It feels great to lie between expensive sheets early on a Saturday, the beautiful prospects of a steaming hot shower and a leisurely weekend ahead of him as the carefully announced sounds of his success floods his ears through the wires of his headphones. After just two more rewinds--he doesn't want to wear out the specialness of the clip right away--Joonmyun adds the tab to his bookmarks and navigates to the search bar to check out how R&V products are doing in Egypt and Denmark this week. His search is interrupted by a fuzzy haired Jongdae bursting into the bedroom and wriggling under the sheets to curl himself around Joonmyun's leg. "Hey buddy, good morning!" Joonmyun drops his headset down around his neck and slips an arm around Jongdae's narrow shoulders for a Happy The Weekend squeeze. "You're up early! Are you hungry? Or do you want to watch some sanitary pad commercials with Daddy?" He has a few of their competitors' TV ads queued up on his video playlist to make some notes on the state of the market before their next team vision and planning meeting on Wednesday. "Neither." Jongdae shakes his head, his bedhead frizzing into more spectacular static-electric fueled formations against the slick polyester of the duvet cover. "Emissary has arrived." He points at the open bedroom door, gesturing down the hall. "Wait, what? Emissary? You mean a package was delivered? Is Victoria not up yet and you need me to sign?" Joonmyun frowns in confusion, because he didn't hear the doorbell ring. He is usually the first to answer the door or the house phone, though it is possible he missed the bell because he was so immersed in the pleasure of checking on product news. "Access denied," Jongdae says, and jerks his head towards the hallway. "Um? Dad?" Jongin's voice, still thick with sleep, wafts down from the top of the stairs. "Jonginnie? Are you awake already too?" "Dad, you might wanna...!" Joonmyun throws off the covers in alarm, grabbing the nearest shirt to tie around his waist and cover his boxers as he sprints to the landing of the stairs. "What's wrong? I'm--!" "Good morning, neighbor!" A grinning Luhan is tracking wet sand down the front hall with his flip flops. He halts at the foot of the stairs with a wave to Joonmyun and Jongdae, who are leaning over the balcony of the second story corridor. "Sorry Dad, I tried to tell him you were--" Jongin's sluggish speech is strangled by a bear yawn and he pats his lips with his palm before continuing, "were still--asleep." "That's ok, boys, thanks for alerting me. And sorry, Lu, I didn't hear the doorbell. But why on earth are you here? It's barely 6 AM!" "Cooking class," Luhan retorts as he wrings a trickle of brackish water from the hem of his faded denim shirt. "Please tell me you weren't so irresponsible as to forget your weekend commitments at the community center!" "But--! But the class doesn't even start until 8:00!" Joonmyun moans, flustered since he's standing at the top of the stairs in nothing but his underwear and yesterday's rumpled shirt while Luhan he drips dirty water all over the entryway with the front door flung wide open to the view of the neighborhood. Victoria is going to be pissed if she wakes up to a ruined floor, and Joonmyun already knows who is going to have to clean it up before her alarm goes off. "Ah, yes, well..." Luhan looks down at the soggy bermuda shorts plastered to his thighs and flicks the water dripping from both of his hands. "I had a fishing accident. And I forgot to text you about it last night, but my washer broke on Friday so I'm gonna have to borrow yours for awhile.” "Jongdae," Joonmyun calls, catching his son's eye and shaking his head when he notices him start to creep down the stairs, attracted as always to the siren call of mud puddles. Though Jongdae abhors the wet feeling of water on his skin, the kid is like a pig or a baby elephant when it comes to rolling in mud, he just can't get enough of it. "Mission aborted," Jongdae whispers with a guilty grin, stilling at the foot of the stairs. "Thank you." Joonmyun nods to him before returning his gaze to Luhan and fixing him with an icy glare. "It's too early for this, Lu. Maybe if you come back after breakfast and a shower, we can discuss your plumbing issues and negotiate an arrangement until someone can come to fix your washer. Until then--" "Ok about breakfast," Luhan cuts in with an easy nod, the ends of his dark blonde hair flinging brownish droplets against the dutch blue wallpaper of the entry, "but could I maybe borrow your shower too? Mine doesn't work either. Maybe it's not just a problem with my washer, come to think of it, maybe there's something wrong with the water main..." Joonmyun groans, sincerely praying to the Youtube gods that it's not a problem for the whole neighborhood, or he might have to go downtown tomorrow and punch some plumbers at the city hall. He curls his fingers into a tight fist, then relaxes them, joint by joint, as he exhales. Positive, Joonmyun, he tells himself as he descends the stairs to shut the front door, you've got to think happy weekend thoughts here, Luhan is just a minor blip on your peace and happiness radar. Everything will feel better after breakfast. "Fine. Of course you may use our shower if you're in need. Just let me get you a towel." "Thanks, Myun! You da best!" Joonmyun gives Luhan a weak lipped smile, trying not to cringe when a soggy palm pats him on his bare shoulder. He limps down the hall to the linen closet and pulls out their biggest beach towel, a Transformers one printed in red and black and royal blue that won't show the dirt--or whatever that is that's dripping from Luhan--after he uses it. "If you're showering here, you might as well stay for breakfast," Joonmyun offers, and Luhan accepts with an enthusiastic nod and slams the downstairs bathroom door behind him before Joonmyun even finishes his sentence. "Boys, you might as well go back to bed for a few minutes while I get out the cereal." "No thanks, Dad!" Jongin says through another yawn. He shakes his shaggy head like a wet dog as he hops over the puddle in the middle of the hall. "Jongdae and me are gonna practice duets again!" "Have...fun," Joonmyun calls after them. He sighs and pulls out another dark colored towel before kneeling to mop up the dirty water. He'd much rather skip his own planned shower and faceplant into his cushy ortho-care mattress again until Luhan drags him out the door to attend their class. He really needs to clean up the mess though, before the spilled liquid ruins the hardwood finish and/or Victoria wakes up from the piano maestros’ concert that’s just beginning in the living room. It's about her waking hour, or else Joonmyun would have made the kids wait til later. He'll leave the brunt of breakfast preparation to her on pain of death lest he have another inflammatory mishap in the kitchen, but at least he can start on the set-up. He tosses the sodden mass of towels onto the kitchen tiles at the top of the stairs to the basement and scrubs his hands and arms up to the elbow before cutting up some fruit. There are apples and bananas in the bowl, and peeling and dicing those is something he knows he can't mess up or accidentally set on fire. Joonmyun tries to focus on the positives as he slices, dulling his frustration with the methodical thud of the butter knife against the scarred wooden cutting board. The only good thing about this morning is the utter sense of satisfaction that he receives from the insane profit margins he checked on this morning in bed. At least corporate must be pleased with his results. ✌ ✌ ✌ Joonmyun doesn't let the tense slant of his shoulders relax until he's seated on his metal stool behind the stainless steel counter of the cooking classroom. Victoria had wandered into the kitchen in her dressing gown to find the four hungry boys scarfing down banana chunks straight out of the serving bowls with forks. She whipped up some scrambled eggs and fed them just in time for Joonmyun and Luhan to get out the door to their class on time but needless to say, it hasn’t been the most relaxing weekend morning of Joonmyun's existence. Luhan didn't seem to guilty about his early hour intrusion though, humming along with the radio in his car and slurping Joonmyun's coffee out of a borrowed travel mug from Joonmyun's cabinet while Joonmyun dozed behind his sunglasses for the short drive downtown. He's still in a good mood now too, still humming a folk tune under his breath as he cracks an egg on the rim of the pyrex bowl. The shell breaks cleanly in half but he's not quick enough to slide the insides into the bowl. The raw egg spills into the cup of Luhan's palm, the yolk bursting and dispersing into the clear whites as the glossy mass slides down the curve of his wrist. "Whoa, do you need some help there?" Yixing happens to be rounding the end of their table as Luhan's mishap drips all over, and he catches the worst of the mess with a damp towel shoved under the bowl of Luhan's hands. "Sorry." Luhan casts Joonmyun a worried glance, as if he thinks Joonmyun might bite his head off for cracking the egg wrong. Joonmyun honestly wouldn't have fared much better on the first try, but he has been glaring in Luhan's direction all morning, still trying to burn off the excess frustration left over from breakfast. "No worries, you'll get the hang of it," Yixing says with an encouraging smile. He pats Luhan on the shoulder of his striped raglan shirt, which was also borrowed from Joonmyun's closet. The sleeves are a bit too short for his lanky limbs, but at least that saved the sky blue cuffs from getting a bath in egg yolk. "Try it again with another egg, but try to crack the shell about 30% of the way around and slowly peel it open the rest of the way. That way you can control the gravity when you're ready to separate the yolk and whites." "Yessir!" Luhan winks, brightening up at Yixing's touch and even daring to nudge him back with his shoulder. "Joonmyun, have you tried separating an egg yet?" "Huh? Oh, uh no..." Joonmyun stiffens as Yixing's gentle question pulls him from his reverie. He was moping about the shower situation and trying to brainstorm theories as to why Luhan's plumbing suddenly went kaput. Not that Joonmyun knows anything about plumbing, but he'd like his household and privacy levels to go back to normal as soon as possible. "That's ok, but why don't you try an egg or two after Luhan finishes? It doesn't matter if you mess up today, but let's get in all the practice we can before next week!" "Ooh! Next week we get to try cake, right?" Chanyeol calls from the next table. "That's right!" Yixing nods as he places a speckled brown egg in Joonmyun's reluctant hands. "Basic pound cake is up next." "That sounds only mildly terrifying," Joonmyun mutters, blinking at the egg. The shell is slightly bumpy under the strokes of his thumb, still cold from the industrial fridge lining the back wall of the classroom. "Is there an option to just watch?" Yixing gives Joonmyun a sideways glance, his lips quirking as he turns to face him. "Terrifying? But your cake on Thursday was excellent, Joonmyun! Well, minus the mix up with the salt, that is!" His low chuckle is matched by a squeaky giggle from Luhan, and even Kyungsoo turns to stare over his shoulder at the commotion. "I'm still extremely sorry about that incident," Joonmyun apologizes, patting at the sides of his face as he feels his cheeks flush a sudden pink. "I do hope you can forgive my failure at hospitality." "Nonsense." Yixing gives a sharp shake of his head, cutting off Luhan’s laughter mid-squawk. "There's nothing forgive, I felt very welcome in your home. And I mean it, your cake was a fine specimen in terms of texture and density. It had a delicate crumb and was just moist enough to balance the buttercream frosting. So consider yourself well along the road to baking success!" Yixing finishes his little pep speech with another pat to Joonmyun's shoulder. Joonmyun can't help but feel a bit smug at the jealous pucker of Luhan's lips as Yixing wanders off to check on the progress at the next table. "Good luck next week when you really have to prove your skills," Luhan hisses with a dark glare as he succeeds in opening the next shell with careful fingers. Joonmyun swallows the tight lump rising in his throat as he watches Luhan carve through the clingy membrane of whites with the jagged edge of the half shell, letting them slide into the glass bowl in gloopy strings as he juggles the unbroken yolk from hand to hand. "I don't even know what half of those words Yixing just said mean!" "Do I look like a dictionary?" Luhan sticks out his tongue as he eases the yolk into the waiting ramekin. "Why don't you try askingJongdae for some catch up help? He probably knows what they all mean." Joonmyun frowns at the egg still cupped in his hand, which is starting to lose it's chill against the heat of his palm. He doesn't want to admit it, but Luhan is probably right. Jongdae spends his afternoons watching cooking shows with Victoria, copying down recipes to practice his handwriting and spelling. Sometimes they even watch them online in Mandarin. It's not rare for Joonmyun to come home to find his son tracing chinese characters from his favorite christmas present in a tray of cornmeal, because Victoria says the tactile stimulus will help him retain the learning. "Whatever happened to joining this class as a team?" Joonmyun passes over the egg when Luhan holds out his hand. He's still frowning, and the faint pressure that started building at his temples when he was rudely pulled from his bed just a few hours earlier is transitioning into a full-on migraine. "You know, this was supposed to be as a favor to me?" "Nah." Luhan brushes off Joonmyun's protests with a shrug as he cracks the next egg with a clean stroke against the bowl. The back of Joonmyun’s neck prickles at his grin of success. "Well, you learning how to cook and ceasing to be a public hazard to the entire neighborhood was part of it, but mostly I just wanted to hang out in this lovely classroom with all of these lovely people!" Luhan ignores Joonmyun's disgruntled face, looking past him to beam in adoration at Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. "I think you mean the lovely instructor!" Chanyeol's laugh booms out and echoes against the heavy glass bowl cradled to his chest, startling Joonmyun and making him wince at the shooting pain that stabs through his ears and into his skull. Kyungsoo shushes Chanyeol with pinch to his arm, gesturing for him to replace the bowl on their counter. The conversation ends there, but the worst of Joonmyun's headache is relieved by the abashed look on Luhan's face as he collects his empty shell pieces into a delicate stack, keeping his gaze lowered on his hands. "Ok, guys! Good work so far with the eggs!" Yixing calls the classroom to attention with a wave from the front. He strides back up to the platform and parks himself next to the whiteboard. "And don't worry if you're having trouble, we'll all get the hang of it with a bit more practice! Now it's time to move on to combining wet ingredients. We only have four burners in this classroom, so let's get into groups of three to practice melting butter. Do you all remember the difference between softened and melted butter? How about you, Tao?" "Eh? Me?" A dark haired guy in the row in front of Joonmyun's table pockets his phone and snaps to attention when Yixing calls on him. "Is it, um, softened butter for mixing with the sugar, and melted butter for like, icing and glaze and stuff?" "Yup! Exactly right!" Yixing claps his hands lightly together, rolling the dry erase marker between his palms. "We need softened butter to cream with sugar, but for now let's practice melting it over low heat like we'd need for a glaze or a sauce. You all can go ahead and get into groups!" Tao's partner, a quiet woman who introduces herself as Luna, joins Luhan and Joonmyun with a small wave and a shy smile, while Tao ends up grouped with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo at the stovetop a few feet down from them. Yixing gets the other groups started at their stations on the opposite side of the room before jogging over with a package wrapped in waxed paper. "This is European butter, guys." He pulls back the open flap of the creased wax paper and carves a hunk of creamy colored butter into each group's saucepan. "It's unsalted, so it's suitable for use in pastries or light cakes where the subtle taste could be overwhelmed by a heavier flavoring." "Hey," Joonmyun hears Kyungsoo call as Chanyeol snaps on the gas burner beside them, "low heat, Yeol! We're not trying to melt candle paraffin here!" "What is paraffin?" Chanyeol asks with a grin, but he lets his partner nudge him aside and hands the wooden spoon to Tao. "Hey, pay attention, Myun!" Joonmyun sticks his tongue out at Luhan when he whistles in a rude attempt to catch his attention, but soon tucks it back between his lips when Luna raises an eyebrow. He flashes her a contrite smile for good measure as he helps Luhan with the burner. Joonmyun’s motto is always better polite than sorry, at least until he's sure she's not bffs with his mother on the Municipal Beautification committee. "Um, so what do we do now?" Joonmyun takes the wooden spoon when Luhan passes it to him and pokes at the lump of cold butter in the bottom of the pan. "We wait, I guess." Luna shrugs and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Joonmyun frowns at his hazy reflection in the bowl of the saucepan, worried since they probably shouldn't be touching their hair or faces while cooking. He doesn't make any comments about sanitation, though, because they're not actually going to eat their experiments today. Besides, it would be rude to correct an acquaintance in public. "That's...it?" Joonmyun stares at the edges of the cold butter. He prods it a bit more with the spoon in hopes that he'll find a growing pool of golden liquid underneath but alas, nothing. This is about as exciting as waiting for his freshly planted amaryllis bulbs bloom in their pots, which is how he spent half of last Sunday upon Jongdae's insistence. "So!" Chanyeol announces, projecting his voice to catch the attention of Joonmyun's group. "We might as well get to know each other while we wait for things to heat up!" He leans a lilt into his voice at the end of his sentence, as if he's trying to make a witty pun. Luhan just blinks, smiling in confusion. Kyungsoo groans aloud but Chanyeol ignores him. "So! Why did you all decide to join a cooking class? I'm really curious!" "I like sweets," Tao says. His smile grows from a shy press of his lips into an eye-creasing grin as he continues, "eating them especially! But I also like how cute desserts are, so I want to learn how to make them, too." "Ooh! Yeah! Dessert is amazing!" Luhan nods, clapping his hands as he crumples a plastic wrapper off of one of the egg cartons in his hands. "I'm here because--" "I think we all know why you're here by this point," Luna smirks, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her skinny jeans as she leans against the edge of the table, "and his name is Yixing. You haven't exactly been subtle." Luhan snaps his mouth shut again, pouting a little as he balls up the empty plastic and squashes it between both of his fists. "I'm here because I was forced," Joonmyun offers, a hint of bitterness edging his voice like the bite of lemon zest. "He dragged me here." He stabs the handle of the wooden spoon against Luhan's chest. "Hah! It wasn't only me, Myun! It was a group decision for the betterment of the entire community, so consider yourselves as benefactors of the whole town for putting up with this dude for the duration of the course." "That sounds...intense," Kyungsoo mutters. He flares his eyelashes in Joonmyun's direction as he nudges the pat of butter along the sides of his group’s pan in a zigzag pattern. Joonmyun smiles back at the crowd, trying to look as innocent and non-hazardous as possible. He tilts the long handle of the pan to allow the butter to slide towards the bottom. It's starting to melt as the metal heats, leaving a fat, greasy stripe across the non-stick surface. "It involved multiple visits from the fire department, so just don't ask." Luhan closes his eyes to give his head a solemn shake, and Joonmyun accidentally clobbers his bare toes by stepping on Luhan's flip flop as he scoots over to make room for Luna. "Do you want to...stir?" Joonmyun asks, passing her the spoon. He's not even sure what verbs are appropriate to use in this scenario, but "stir" seems like a safe option. She accepts with a slight nod and starts to swirl the lump in gentle circles across the bottom of the pan. "I'm here because I just wanted to try something new, and the class registration was open at the time, so." She shrugs again. "That's cool!" Chanyeol gives her a thumbs up and she breaks into a full smile this time. "I was also dragged here, by Soo." He reaches out with his large palm to pat the top of his roommate's hair, but Kyungsoo has the foresight or at least prior conditioning to know to avoid him, ducking out of the way without removing his focus from the pan. "Nuh uh, don't even, Chanyeol. This class was 100% your idea. You even signed me up without asking my permission, so of course I did the same back to you." "You just wanted my company!" Chanyeol links his elbow through the loop of Kyungsoo's unoccupied arm. "Don't flatter yourself," Kyungsoo huffs, but he has a tiny smile poking through at the edges of his mouth. He stirs faster, picking up the pace as the butter detaches from the metal surface of the pan, now afloat on a golden sea of melted liquid as it shrinks. "The only reason I went along with the whole thing anyway is because for once you were right--your apartment does suck because it doesn't have an oven. And this class is definitely cheaper than getting a new appliance installed." "Oh, your old house had an oven?" Joonmyun never realized it, but he took for granted that all dwellings larger than studio apartments generally have a full size oven. Because cookies. And frozen pizza. Both are very necessary things. "Oh dear, how are you supposed make pizza without an oven?" "Now you feel my pain," Kyungsoo sighs with a shake of his head. "Besides my soon-to-be ex being the literal devil incarnate, the worst part of this process is all the...mess. I mean, figuring out what to with all of the stuff and downsizing and--oh. I'm sorry. You all probably don't want to hear all this. I'll...shut up now." Kyungsoo curls into himself, his shoulders hunching defensively over the skillet as the tips of his ears redden. "Nonsense!" Tao speaks up. Even Chanyeol looks up in surprise, the lower half of his jawhitting the crown of Kyungsoo's head as he wraps his arms in an octopus hug around his roommate that Kyungsoo doesn't shake off this time. "Baking can be a cathartic experience for you, and if you want to let off a little steam while you're at it, well, it won't be the only steam in the room!" "Well put, Tao," Luna says with a definitive nod. "I'm personally looking forward to making baguette. I like to punch things when I'm stressed." "And don't feel shy about ranting about the divorce." Joonmyun smiles at Kyungsoo, his brow creasing with a mixture of empathy and concern. "You're not the first one here to go through a nasty separation. It's even harder when you have kids involved." "Ah, yes, I've heard," Kyungsoo nods, meeting Joonmyun's gaze. "Well, thanks, I guess." He offers a smile to the group. "I don't know what to say, but--" "I do!" Luhan raises his hand, waving the plastic sack in the air like a rallying flag. "We are a team from now on, guys! Ok? We need to make a group cheer!" Kyungsoo giggles, the sound stuttering a bit in his throat, but his smile is wide enough to show off his teeth as he nods in agreement. He even lets Tao gather him in for another tight squeeze. "Wow! Sounds like there's some great team bonding going on over here!" Yixing saunters up to the group with a wink that sends Luhan slipping behind Joonmyun to hide his sudden blush. "And how's the butter coming?" "It's...melted. Can I turn off the burner now?" Luna tilts the pan just enough to allow Yixing a view of the contents, careful not to let the liquid splash out and onto the counter. "Yup! We better remove it from the heat, or else it will scorch. Looks like this team is doing great too!" He nods, still grinning as he maneuvers between the cluster of students to check on the other group's pan. "Next up is blending techniques. Let's head back to our stations!" "So, you have kids?" "Huh? Oh yeah," Joonmyun nods, a bit caught off guard by Kyungsoo's question as they're transitioning back to their counters. "I have two boys. They're both in school here in town." "I don't know too much about kids," Kyungsoo confesses with a sheepish smile. "Except for Yeol's niece, and she's a little terror!" He shakes his head in Chanyeol's direction, still grinning. Chanyeol is too busy explaining the difference between types of guitar strings to Tao, so he doesn't overhear Kyungsoo's comment. "Oh, how old is his niece?" Joonmyun drops his voice to a low murmur, trying not to be disruptive as Yixing starts his explanation for the next part of the lesson. "Four? I think." Kyungsoo's brow creases in thought as he tightens the symmetrical loops of the bow tied in front of his apron. "Not sure exactly, she’s not in school yet but she can talk." "Hm, four sounds about right, then." Joonmyun hums under his breath, thinking of how tiny Jongdae looks in his big brother's T-shirts he likes to run around in, but how quickly he's grown from his toddler days. It won't be long now before the boys are old enough to steal out of their father’s closet, and Joonmyun is dreading the day should one (hopefully not both!) of them grow taller than him. "They grow up so fast, maybe it'll be easier for you to relate to her when she's a bit older." "I hope so," Kyungsoo shrugs. "She's a cute kid, and basically my niece, too." "My youngest son is about the same age. I wouldn't call him cute, but..." Joonmyun trails off with a hesitant laugh, hoping that no one has used the word "terror" to describe Jongdae, though it wouldn’t surprise him. "Where does he go to preschool? I wonder if Eunsong goes to the same place." "Oh, Jongdae doesn't go to preschool." Joonmyun shakes his head slightly, trying not to make it too obvious that he's not paying attention to Yixing's demonstration about combining wet and dry ingredients. "We have a live-in nanny, Victoria. I think she’s acquainted with both Chanyeol and Yixing, actually." "Small world," Kyungsoo hums as he return his attention to the front. Yixing has his back to the audience, labeling a diagram on the whiteboard with an almost dead marker. "Or, small town rather." Kyungsoo’s laugh is more of a huff, a bitter shrug of his shoulders. Joonmyun can sympathize. It's difficult to find a partner when the pool of options is small to begin with, and even harder coming out of a long term relationship. Not as many people are frantically switching partners at their age, trying on new personalities like racks of jeans at the mall. "Maybe so." Joonmyun's whisper makes Kyungsoo turn his head, and Joonmyun gives him an encouraging smile. "But maybe this course will give us a market edge, eh? We'll be fully equipped to win the hearts of our future true loves with cake." "With cake?" Kyungsoo's laugh is loud enough this time that Luna turns her head to stare with a raised brow, but she just winks at them before turning back to the front. "Well," Joonmyun shrugs, pushing off from the counter when Luhan nudges him aside to collect equipment from the lower shelves of their table. "Stranger things have happened!" ✌ ✌ ✌ "Good morning!" Joonmyun nods to Amber as he swings past her desk and heads for his cubicle in the back corner. She's taking a call, the heavy office phone receiver tucked between her face and shoulder, but she gives him a wave as he passes. It's Tuesday, and Joonmyun comes in later on Tuesdays because it's Victoria's day off. He feeds the boys, makes sure no one has their shirt on backwards, and makes his round of drop offs. During the school year he waves goodbye to Jongin at the curb where he waits for his school bus, but since it's summer both of the boys are at Joonmyun’s mother's house today, a three story clapboard colonial on the far side of town. Joonmyun is grateful that his kids have a chance to spend so much quality time with their grandmother. He's also secretly glad for the excuse to come into work a bit later, turning on his PC a little after 8 AM. By 8:00 the office is thriving with the pleasant hum of keyboards, phone calls, and the occasional excited gasp or frustrated moan of vocalized creativity in action. Joonmyun encourages his employees to respect each other's space and focus by working quietly in their cubicles, but the occasional wail of inspiration or determination is music to his ears. This is what dreams are made of, he thinks to himself with a sigh as he fills a clean mug with hot coffee--a dozen egos and fountains of ideas coming together as one to create the perfect consumer products for today's women. It gives him chills sometimes if he thinks too long and hard about their road forward into the dawn of continued success. Joonmyun is not expecting, however, the next wail of frustration to come from his own cubicle. Joonmyun sets down the Irish cream non-dairy creamer mid pour and stalks over to his desk, the unstirred addition to his drink curling in ominous swirls into the depths of his strong roast. "What is going on?" Joonmyun plants himself squarely across the opening of his cubicle. He would be glaring his sternest stare of consternation right now if his lips weren't unsealing to let his jaw drop in horror at the sight. His entire desk space is in an absolute mess right now, bearing no resemblance to the familiar disarray of items and files he left it in the night before. "Hi," Baekhyun waves. His smile is as casual as the one Amber gave Joonmyun moments before. "I can't find your white out. Like anywhere. I've been searching for twenty minutes." Joonmyun taps the toe of his italian leather shoe against the plastic floor protector layered over the carpet. "I'm surprised you've only been rooting through my personal things for a mere twenty minutes," he sniffs, his rotten mood not at all softened by the whiff of Bailey's and caffeine that assaults his flaring nostrils. "I mean--look at this mess! It would have taken me forever to move everything all around and create a mess this big." It's not an exaggeration. All of Joonmyun's carefully piled mountains of paperwork have been stacked neatly and aligned into reams secured with identical binder clips, completely obscuring the specific order he uses to tell them all apart. "I keep my files easy to grab by memorizing the silhouettes of each pile! How am I supposed to know which stack is which one if you smushed them all together?" Joonmyun doesn't wail. His throat is too hoarse with panic and lack of coffee to pitch that high, although he sure feels like crying. "And they were in chronological order according to region! I hope you preserved that classification, at the very least!" "I, um, alphabetized them?" Baekhyun's eyes are wide behind his stupid, very unattractive dark framed glasses, and Joonmyun makes a mental note to send him the company discount code to order some new designer frames if he should wish. But only after he's done being hysterical over the wreck the new intern has made of his office. "And my binders? And my address labels?" Joonmyun's urgent queries are making him feel breathless, a little woozy. He just manages to slide his brimming coffee cup onto the foreign and spacious expanse of his desk before collapsing in his chair. "I...alphabetized those too." Baekhyun hides a dry cough behind his fist. "Possibly?" "There is no possibly in business," Joonmyun whispers, his vocal cords leached of all their resonance by this sudden, shocking blow. "There is only public perception, and fulfilling your every promise to the consumer." His left hand searches in aimless trails across the glass surface of his desk, but his fingers remain desolate of the consoling presence of his coffee. This is awful. With his desk this bare, the tiny wells of free space he has always designated for for his phone and his coffee mug have disappeared. Their delineations marked out by the presence of his carefully constructed piles have been lost forever to time and the faintest strains of his memory. Joonmyun is now completely thrown for a loop on how far away to place his coffee mug from his keyboard and still be able to reach for it with nothing but the carefully calibrated impulse of muscle memory. "Are...you ok, sir?" Baekhyun waves his hand in front of Joonmyun's face. He has elegant fingers, Joonmyun notices, and the neatly manicured nail beds crowning each fingertip distract Joonmyun from his anguish for a brief moment. "Huh? Wha...?" "I asked if you were ok?" Baekhyun almost looks frightened. His mouth pinches into a tight pucker and he puffs out his cheeks like he's holding in a breath of panic as he hands Joonmyun his coffee. "I'm...I'll be fine," Joonmyun murmurs before sucking down a deep gulp. He ignores the scalding heat that washes through his teeth and down his throat, knowing that the pain will resuscitate his mental edge from this blank state of panic. "I'm..." he sucks in a deep breath next, luxuriating in the tingle of oxygen replenishing his extremities. "I'm sorry for raising my voice. But in the future I would appreciate it if you would ask my permission first before turning my work space upside down. I have many sensitive materials lying around and it would be a problem if anything were to get lost." Baekhyun raises his brows, the dark lines of them arching behind the upper rims of his glasses, but he nods in meek understanding. "Lovely." Joonmyun manages a smile this time after he swallows down half of his coffee in the next desperate gulp. His relief starts to fade, however, when the intern sticks his hand in the air and wiggles his fingers as if he's waiting to be called on in a classroom. "Oh...do you have...questions?" "Yup!" Baekhyun nods until the sideways brim of his cap knocks into the tailored curve of his jacket shoulder. "So where exactly can I find the white out?" Joonmyun can't suppress the long suffering sigh that forces itself through his lips. He scoots forward, rolling his chair closer to the desk where Baekhyun is lounging against the edge of it but is careful to maintain a professional distance so their knees don't knock together. He whisks the small white bottle with the peaked cap out from under a stack of post-it note pads and a necklace of paperclips Jongdae had strung together for him the last time he visited his office. "I keep the bottle right here, where I can reach it easily." Joonmyun taps the spot of carefully compiled clutter in the corner of his desk, one of the few areas leading into the cubby holes of binders that Baekhyun has yet to disturb. "Use some critical thinking skills next time and maybe you won't waste so much time on useless endeavors." "Well, it's hardly my place to say so, but if you have confidential documents laying around in the open like this, isn't that, like, a breach of security?" Baekhyun gives a nervous smile, his blink innocent behind the glasses that Joonmyun currently feels like pulling from his face and snapping in half. "The most confidential papers are in a locked safety box, actually." Joonmyun raises his brows in a triumphant surveyance as Baekhyun bites into his lower lip, blushing. "And only Amber has the spare copies of those keys, so you needn't worry about security. Ok?" "Yes sir, sorry." Baekhyun ducks his head in apology. "I've never worked this sort of job before, so...I'm very sorry for all of the wasted time you'll have to spend training me." "Oh..." Joonmyun catches a drip of creamer diluted coffee with the tip of his thumb as it quivers on the rim of his mug. He didn't mean to make his new employee feel worthless or incompetent. He is one of Joonmyun's employees now, after all. Joonmyun presses his thumbs into his temples in an attempt to assuage the uneasy premonition he feels in Baekhyun's presence, because it just won't do. He needs to help make Baekhyun feel as valued and productive as every member of the R&V family at the Fresh Fresh branch. "Please don't apologize for inexperience, you should never feel sorry for something that's beyond your knowledge or control! Well, unless it's an apology to a customer, of course, but that's another story." Joonmyun waves his hand in an airy swirl and drains the last lukewarm mouthfuls of his coffee. "Ok, sir, understood!" "Good." Joonmyun settles back in his chair but hangs onto his empty mug, still unsure where to set it on the wasteland of his barren desk. He hates the overwhelming feeling that comes with having too many options, which is why Victoria is responsible for purchasing all of the cereal for the household. "From now on if you need something, just ask." Joonmyun hands Baekhyun the bottle of white out with a smile. "Oh, what is this?" Baekhyun squints through his thick glasses as he holds the bottle up to the light, the ribbed cap pinched between his thumb and forefinger. "White out," Joonmyun says in disbelief, "as in liquid correction fluid? That's what you were looking for, right?" "Liquid?" Baekhyun keeps squinting as he brings the bottle a few centimeters from his nose for closer scrutiny. "I meant correction tape, like the roll on stuff." "I'm afraid I don't stock newfangled items like correction tape in my personal desk." Joonmyun sits up, his back stiffening under the amused smirk of his intern. "But perhaps if you check with Amber, she might have something of the sort in the stockroom." Baekhyun tosses the bottle up in the air and catches it in his palm before handing it back to Joonmyun with a shake of his head. "Thanks, boss!" He cracks a sharp bubble of his chewing gum between his teeth and disappears into the aisles between the cubicles, humming under his breath. "Oh, and Baekhyun?" "Yes, boss?" Baekhyun leans his head around the wall of Joonmyun's cubicle when he's called back. His glasses slip down the bridge of his nose a bit and he looks kind of cute like that, Joonmyun decides, like some cross between a twitchy nosed bunny and Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother. "Can you bring me a roll of electrical tape, too? Preferably red or some other vivid color." "Got it, boss!" Baekhyun waves at Joonmyun over his shoulder as he saunters off this time, still whistling. Joonmyun shakes his head as he loads his inbox in the browser. Baekhyun isn't a bad kid--person--actually, Joonmyun has no idea how old he is, come to think of it. He doesn't look fresh out of college, especially not with his designer cut suits and the adorable sunrise of crinkles radiating from the shine of his eyes when he grins. Regardless of his age, he's one of the most...unique interns Joonmyun has had the privilege of working with in awhile. The intern returns a few moments later with a spool of correction tape in one fist and the requested roll of electrical tape shoved over his wrist like a gaudy lacquer bracelet. "Oh good, there was red tape!" Joonmyun accepts the roll from Baekhyun and immediately starts clipping off sections with his scissors. It had taken him a few moments to locate his scissors and ruler in the top drawer of his desk where Baekhyun had placed them, along with his letter opener and a spare set of knitting needles. Now Joonmyun takes thorough measurements of the surface of his desk, plotting out where his important objects such as his mug and phone should go on the desktop like he's charting equations on a giant pad of graph paper. "Um, sorry sir, but what are you doing?" Baekhyun's tone doesn't sound judgmental, but Joonmyun prickles at the questions, still sensitive from their falling out ten minutes earlier. "I'm trying to fix the mess you made of my personal belongings," Joonmyun sighs instead of snapping, and Baekhyun doesn't flinch this time. He only looks a bit sheepish as he slides his hips onto the end of the desk to take a tentative seat. Joonmyun finishes his measuring and starts laying down strips of red tape until he's outlined a circle approximately the size of the bottom of his mug. He tests out the finished markings, setting his cup into the highlighted ring and reaching for it from his keyboard without turning his head to look. The distance is a bit off from how he remembers it, but just by a few degrees. Joonmyun adjusts his keyboard a smidge to the right and decides that will have to do. He doesn't have time to pull up all the tape and start over, and he doesn't trust delegating such a delicate operation to Baekhyun. "Now that that's settled, why don't I show you how the internal messaging server compiles data records?" "Sure!" Baekhyun drags the spare chair up beside Joonmyun's and leans his elbows onto the glass desk cover. Even Joonmyun is humming now as he loads the admin locked files in the database. Training an eager new worker is one of his favorite tasks as a manager, and bright eyed Baekhyun seems like he'll prove a quick learner. Only time will tell, though. ✌ ✌ ✌ The rest of the day hurtles forward until the alarm on Joonmyun's phone rings at 6:15, reminding him that it's time to go pick up his babies from their grandmother's. He shields the touch screen from Baekhyun's watchful eyes as he thumbs the lock screen open to silence the pinging bells. He lets out a breath as soon as the vibrating and chiming ceases, grateful that Jongdae hasn't hacked through his latest passcodes and reset the ringtone to the theme song from Pororo, or some Chinese cooking program, or whatever his favorite show is these days. Even if Baekhyun didn't say anything, it would still be embarrassing for Joonmyun if something like that happened. "I have to go now!" Joonmyun scrapes the financial reports they were dissecting back into their manila folder and sets his desktop monitor to standby. He avoids making eye contact with his intern as he shrugs into his jacket. Joonmyun can feel his face flushing an uncomfortable pink as the scene of his first encounter with Baekhyun plays through his mind. He tries to shut out the flashes of automatic playback, his soaked dress shirt and Baekhyun's shocked face after hearing Joonmyun's Stitch voice. Baekhyun seems to have other ideas, however. He grabs his own jacket that he'd shed after lunch and tags along as Joonmyun flees to the front desk to hand Amber a folder of consumer reviews he'd printed out during lunch break. "So, can I go home now too?" Baekhyun pokes Joonmyun in the shoulder as they wait side by side for the elevator. "Of course." Joonmyun peeks at his watch and pulls back his shirt cuff enough for Baekhyun to see as well. "After 6:00 you may go home. It's in your employee contract, right?" Joonmyun makes a point of always skimming the new contracts HR sends over along with new hires, but he hasn't had a chance to do so with Baekhyun's. Baekhyun shrugs, his pleasant mood seemingly not deterred by Joonmyun's unimpressed stare because he keeps humming the tune that's been stuck in his head all afternoon. "Well, I’m the branch manager and subsidiary CEO, so I set the guidelines for employee service in our office. But in general it's a good idea to read contracts when, and preferably before, you sign them. For your own personal security." "Got it! Thanks for the tip, boss." Baekhyun gives a mock salute as the elevator arrives on their floor and doors open. Joonmyun's frown of concern fades in the wake of his overwhelming sense of relief that he's on his way home now, finally able to escape the unique stressors of today and retreat behind the safe walls of his own home. It's not often that he feels in such a need to escape from the office, but everyone has their days. It’s okay. It’s normal. That's what Joonmyun tells himself as he eases his car out of the parking garage and onto the main road. Facing stress at work is ordinary, useful even, if you know how to harness it effectively to your projects' advantage. There's no need to bring undue anxiety back into the haven of home, however. Joonmyun is conscious to strip away any outward signs of tension before his kids climb into the back seat to join him in the car. He flips on the stereo, station surfing until he finds an satellite radio that plays innocuous instrumental tracks at a mind numbing drawl. This is perfect, a wash of relaxing music to lose himself in while the traffic inches forward. The only thing that could make the atmosphere any more peaceful would be a quiet hush of rain hissing against the hoods of the cars, but Joonmyun's glad it didn't decide to rain today. Rainy days with the kids in tow mean soggy umbrellas folded across his car seats and muddy boots kicking against the seat backs. And Jongdae always gets more restless when the sun is hiding and he has to take out his physical energy inside the confines of the house. Traffic is heavy today, but not terrible. Joonmyun makes it to his mother's driveway a few minutes after 7:00 and is rewarded with a tackle hug from Jongdae as soon as he rings the front bell. Joonmyun's mother sends them home with a casserole swaddled in a quilted carrier, which Jongin carries down the drive to the car. The boys wave goodbye to their grandma, who waves from the front window to see them off. "Are you guys buckled in back there?" Joonmyun checks for Jongin's thumbs up in the rearview mirror before he backs out into the quiet neighborhood street. Now that Jongin's started shooting up on his first string of many growth spurts he's tall enough to sit in the front with Joonmyun. Sometimes he still opts to join his brother in the back though. Today they were in the middle of a card game when Joonmyun arrived, and are continuing their battle in the back seat of the car as Joonmyun drives them to the grocery store. "Any requests for dinner tonight?" "Aren't we having cheesy broccoli casserole?" Jongin looks up to catch Joonmyun's eye in the mirror as he shuffles his newly drawn penalty cards around in his hand. Jongdae is gloating next to him in his booster seat, a lone Uno card pinched between his small fingers. "Sure, we can heat that up when we get home, but don't you want something to go with it?" "Pizza?" Jongdae drops his card in his excitement, retrieving it up with a pout when Joonmyun shakes his head. "Not today, Buddy. How about something from the deli? Potato salad?" "We had potato salad on Saturday." Jongin's lips curl in disgust as he side eyes Joonmyun. "But not the mustard kind that they sell at the deli!" Joonmyun points out, but even Jongdae shakes his head in a slow waggle of refusal. "Carrot and raisin salad, then?" "Does it have to be salad?" Jongin hands his brother a draw-two card. Jongdae sticks out his tongue as he pulls two cards from the deck balanced on his lap. "Salad is--" "--healthy, yeah Dad. We know." Jongin holds up his palm a in motion of stay as Joonmyun rounds the next corner with a sigh. They still haven't agreed on the menu for their side dishes by the time Joonmyun's finished parking and they've managed to select a shopping wagon without any squeaky wheels. They head straight for the deli counter, Jongdae riding in the seat up front while Jongin pushes. The lady behind the counter rubs her palms together until her thin plastic gloves rustle in impatience while they dither. Joonmyun insists that whatever they buy has to have at least some token bits of vegetable in it, while Jongin tries to argue that Watergate salad and cracked wheat bulgur salad totally count in the vegetable category by nature of the name salad. Jongdae has long since lost interest in the entire conversation, snacking on cherry tomatoes out of the square carton in his lap and reading the colors of each of his Uno cards aloud as he waits. "Fine," Joonmyun gives in with a final sigh. "We can buy a carton of the cranberry cherry jello salad as well as the carrot slaw, as long as you agree to eat some of both." Jongin cheers as the impatient deli lady shifts into motion, scooping their selections into plastic cartons and weighing them on the meat scale at the back of the booth. Jongdae cheers too, probably just to join in on the excitement, and Joonmyun fits a finger to his lips to remind them to use their inside voices. "Ok guys," he whispers as soon as they've settled down, "let's grab some milk and then go home. You must be starving." Jongdae nods in agreement. Both his cheeks are stuffed like a chipmunk's as he stuffs in three more baby tomatoes and Joonmyun has to remind him to take it one at a time. Joonmyun takes over pushing their cart so Jongin can stride ahead into the household goods to grab a bottle of fabric softener while Joonmyun heads to the dairy section for milk. They probably need more butter, too. Joonmyun only remembers seeing half a stick in the fridge the last time he checked. Victoria usually keeps him up to date with the shopping lists, but maybe she forgot. "Joonmyun?" Joonmyun almost drops the carton of sour cream he's examining at the gentle touch on his arm. "It's been awhile since we've run into each other, how are you doing? How are the kids?" Minseok smiles warmly as waves to Jongdae. The handles of a plastic shopping basket are draped over his arm. He looks much less intimidating in the center of the large grocery store wearing a zip up hoodie that hangs low over his hips, the loose hem reaching almost to the bottoms of his jogging shorts. "Oh you're right, at least not under such pleasant circumstances," Joonmyun agrees with a penitent smile. "We're picking up dinner tonight, so no worries about...well, yeah!" Joonmyun lets a nervous laugh escape as he slides the pint of sour cream back onto its shelf. "Is your mother doing well?" Minseok doesn't seem in any hurry to take his leave and scoot off to the register. All that's in his basket is a pack of processed cheese singles and two bananas still attached at the stems. Joonmyun wonders if he should invite the fire chief over for their next neighborhood dinner party. Perhaps he isn't the only bachelor on the block who struggles in the kitchen, and that realization relaxes the embarrassed lump in Joonmyun's throat. "Oh yes, she's doing quite well. We just came from her house, actually." Joonmyun pats Jongdae's head as he nods in concurrence. "How is the, uh, bridge club?" "Oh! We have some events coming up!" Minseok shifts the handles of his basket up his forearm, his face lighting up as he shares details of the fundraiser their group has planned. It's some sort of Christmas in July themed gala, and Joonmyun nods along with the excited explanation. He vaguely remembers hearing the basics from his mother over the phone some time or other, but he’s hazy on the details. Jongin returns, hauling a gallon of softener hugged to his chest just as Minseok finishes quoting the prices for the different seating options at the event. Minseok backs up a few steps to make way for him to dump the heavy bottle into the bottom of the cart. "Anyway, just call me if you need tickets!" Minseok gives Jongdae a wink as he starts to edge towards one of the meat freezers that splits the main aisle at the back of the store into a boulevard. "Or, hehe! I guess you can always buy them from your mother!" He ducks his chin against his shoulder as his round cheeks blush a soft pink, and Joonmyun feels his own face heating in response. He's never seen MInseok this get friendly before and it's kind of throwing him off his groove. Of course, the majority of their previous meetings have been under rather frustrating circumstances, but Joonmyun is pleasantly surprised by Minseok's warm demeanor nonetheless. Minseok keeps waving to them as he backs into the next aisle and Joonmyun returns it for just as long with a smile frozen on his features. "Dad?" Jongin gives him a thoughtful look, keeping his gaze trained on Joonmyun's as he squats to retrieve a reverse card Jongdae just dropped between the bars of the cart. "Hm?" Joonmyun jolts back into motion, shoving the cart forward. They still need to swing by the pile of sliced sandwich bread in another median bin before they head to the check out. "Do you like Mr. Kim? Because you were smiling at him kind of...funny." "What?" Joonmyun's voice matches the high pitched squeak of his shoes on the tile as he trips forward two steps and bangs his shin into the bottom rack of the cart. "We were just talking, Jonginnie. He's our neighbor, and he stopped to say hello. It's only polite." Joonmyun nods to himself in reassurance. There was nothing about Minseok's behavior to indicate that he intended their interaction to be anything more than a polite greeting in a supermarket. He catches a loaf of bread by it's gathered plastic tail and swings it into the cart behind Jongdae. "Nah, I’m not asking if you think he likes you." Jongin shakes his shaggy hair out of his eyes and rests a hand on the neck of the fabric softener bottle, saving the wheat slices from getting squashed by the leaning tower of Downy. "I just wondered if maybe you liked him. That's all." "I...don't know," Joonmyun mumbles honestly. It's not a thought he's entertained before, though he doesn’t have any objections to dating the neighbor the fire chief that he can think of off the top of his head. "I don't know? And what made you think to ask about that anyway?" Joonmyun has always been open with his oldest son about his romantic life, at least as far as is age appropriate. He's conscious (perhaps too much so, according to Victoria and his mother) that any serious relationship he gets into will affect the lives of his children as well as his own. Joonmyun just wants to make responsible decisions that will be the best for everyone involved. "You were blushing." Jongin blinks up at him through the mess of his tousled hair and Joonmyun feels his face heating all over again. "I just wasn't expecting to run into him today is all," Joonmyun says, wondering how embarrassing and/or strange it would look if he pressed the chilled bottle of milk against his face to help cool it down. "I'm a shy guy, I'm not good at talking to people." Jongin doesn't say anything but he gives Joonmyun a disbelieving frown as he pulls the end of the cart towards the checkout lanes. He doesn't look upset, just confused. Jongin’s not the only one confused by the situation, though. Joonmyun is still contemplating the encounter hours later as he brushes his teeth in front of his bathroom mirror. The dishes have been washed and put away. Jongdae is fast asleep between his spiderman sheets and zipped into his purple Barney footie pajamas that he insists on wearing every night, even in the summer. Jongin was huddled under his own Batman sheets the last time Joonmyun checked on them, no doubt insulating himself from the fan Jongdae sleeps with, due to his unconventional summer sleepwear choices. And perhaps Jongin was also hiding a comic book and the backlight of his phone under the blankets as he finishes the last few pages of the volume. He's so close to finishing the latest installment, and Joonmyun expects to hear all about the plot twists over breakfast tomorrow. He had planned to catch up on some reading of his own before bed, but Joonmyun snaps off his bedroom light and pulls his own sheets over his head as soon as he exits the bathroom. He closes his eyes to run through his nightly ritual: visualizing his next steps to success as he drops off to sleep. Tonight, however, day dreaming about the fiber make up of the world's next revolutionary tampon design is not helping his thoughts focus. Instead of pearl pink logos, Joonmyun's thoughts are invaded by a pair of pink cheeks blushing at him just as adorably in his fantasies as they did in the dairy section at the supermarket this evening. He finally drops off to sleep long past midnight, Jongin's innocent question and his own inability to give either of them a definitive answer still tingling uncomfortably in the tips of his toes. ✌ ✌ ✌ "Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...!" Luhan pauses his narration to hold out his measuring cup. "More sugar, please!" he whispers before continuing the tale. "There lived a lonely bachelor named Joonm--" "I don't think that's quite how I remember that story going." Joonmyun keeps his hand clamped over Luhan's lips until his cooking partner quits squirming against him. "And unlike certain parties," he pauses to give Luhan a long, considering look, "I'm here to actually learn something." "I am offended!" Luhan snatches the cup back as soon as Luna finishes filling it with granulated sugar from her spoon. "I've learned plenty in this class!" "Like the instructor's phone number?" Luna winks at Joonmyun and he sticks out his hand for a high five. They're working in groups of three again today. There have been slight changes to the syllabus based on the class' overall progress (or lack thereof), so today they're working on apple cinnamon muffins as a lead up to baking cakes. "Hey, I totally did not ask for his number in this classroom!" Luhan tips the sugar into the bowl. Joonmyun watches the glistening grains pile up like sand over the softened butter smeared in the bottom. "Emphasis on 'in this classroom'," Joonmyun mutters, smiling at Luhan when he turns to glare at the dig. “Ooh!” Chanyeol crows as he slaps a spoon through his group’s bowl in sloppy stirs. Kyungsoo just shakes his head as he watches the clumps sugar sift into the furrows of butter. “So you’ve made progress, eh?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Luhan grabs a paper towel to wipe the smears of butter from his hands. “Hey, any chance you can put your matchmaking skills to work and find Soo here a special some--” Chanyeol’s words are truncated with a sharp oof and the wooden spoon goes flying when he doubles forward under the force of Kyungsoo’s elbow to the gut. “Excuse me, but I think I’m capable of taking care of my own affairs, thank you very much.” Kyungsoo accepts the rubber spatula Tao hands him and starts scraping down the sides of the bowl. The wet ingredients have splattered all the way up to the rim from Chanyeol’s enthusiastic stirring. “Hey,” Chanyeol moans as he staggers back to hang on the edge of the counter. “You should be nice to me! You only get to enjoy my charms for two more days until your life will hit a dry spell of guitar melodies and fresh hot coffee as soon as you wake up!” “As much as I appreciate you doing it for me, I am perfectly capable of making my own instant coffee in the microwave.” Kyungsoo gives Chanyeol a little pat on his wrist, avoiding the streaks of butter dotting his forearm and knuckles. “Guitar melodies!” Chanyeol insists. “We may have a hi-fi stereo but I can’t be so replaceable!” “What’s going on? Are you guys breaking up now too?” Luhan pokes his fingers into Joonmyun’s shoulder as he edges closer to the other group. “They can’t break up if they’ve never been dating.” Luhan’s mouth gapes in surprise at the sharp eyed smirk Tao gives him, but he doesn’t reply. “Thank you, Tao, for the solidarity.” Kyungsoo gives him a high five before turning to Luhan to explain. “Yeol here has to travel for work. He’ll be gone for two weeks, so I get the apartment to myself and our classroom will be marvelously peaceful in his absence.” "What do you do for work?" Tao asks as he tosses Chanyeol the damp cloth to finish cleaning his hands. "Something top secret!" Chanyeol just smears the lines of butter across the backs of his hands into a greasy sheen. Joonmyun rolls his eyes because even Jongdae could wipe his own hands more effectively. "Top secret? Wow. You work for the government?" Luna leans forward, interest piqued. "It's hardly as exciting as he makes it sound, he just does something boring with numbers or files or something." Kyungsoo dismisses the group's curiosity with a wave of the spoon as Tao cracks an egg into the beaten mixture. "Ah, the corporate life, eh?" Joonmyun gives Chanyeol a knowing wink and is surprised when Chanyeol's features freeze mid grin and he turns away, fiddling with his phone. The tentative apology on Joonmyun's lips is cut off, however, when Yixing hoists himself onto the platform and holds up a shiny metal contraption. It clicks when Yixing squeezes the handle, the screen on the inside shifting like the action on an old fashioned ice cream scoop. Joonmyun sincerely hopes the utensil is intended for kitchen use and is not an implement for torture for students that ruin their final baking projects at the end of the term. "This here is a flour sifter!" Yixing clenches the handle again. Joonmyun cringes when the wire screens grate against each other with a squeal. "Oops! Sorry! It won't sound as noisy once you weight it with some flour, but make sure you get it positioned over the bowl before you load it." He leans forward to give Chanyeol a knowing look and Chanyeol pops his phone behind his back with a guilty cough. Yixing’s smile is wide and encouraging when he makes it around to Joonmyun's table, however, and he stops to snicker at something Luhan wants to show him on his Instagram account. "Oh, do you have Instagram too?" Chanyeol slips his arms around Yixing's shoulders, leaning into his side as he peers over Luhan's neck for a closer view. "Hey! We should all follow each other so we can post pics of our practice attempts at home!" "Hey, yeah!" Luhan pinches Joonmyun's arm hard enough to elicit a yelp. Luna just snickers at them with a shake of her head when Luhan cheers, "Team Delicious, unite!" "That's a great idea, actually," Yixing agrees as he eases himself out of Chanyeol's clinging embrace. "Do you guys all have accounts?" "Yup," Luna says, echoing Kyungsoo's nod. "I have three!" Tao says, his face as excited as it was the time Kyungsoo complemented his athletic stirring skills. "But one of them is for my dog, maybe I should get another just for documenting my baking creations!" "I like the way you think!" Yixing gives Tao a wink that has him blushing down to the collar of his loose raglan Tee. "Ok, then I'll add everyone, and we can make a group Snapchat too! Hey," Luhan pokes Joonmyun again until he rounds on him with an annoyed glare. "This means it's time for you to get an Instagram, you old man. Keep up with the times." "I do keep up with The Times," Joonmyun answers with a tight smile. "It's delivered to my doorstep every morning and I enjoy browsing the headlines over my coffee." Even though Joonmyun checks the headlines on his RSS feed on his phone every morning before dragging himself out of bed and into the shower, he does enjoy a nice and sassy editorial column. Nothing quite compares to the feel of the dusky newsprint between his fingers as he sips his coffee, enjoying the sharp scent of fresh ink blurring into the bitter undertones of Arabica roast. "Aw, don't be a spoil sport!" Luhan’s fingers needle the back of Joonmyun's tricep through the thin linen of his casual button down until he takes a deliberate side step out of his reach, slotting Luna between them. "Well fine then. I guess I'll just have to post them for you when we practice at your place next weekend." "Practice at--? Ho ho no, I don't think so, Lu! My weekends are already full enough without adding your company to the agenda!" “We’ll see about that,” Luhan grins over the brim of his fingers as he cups his chin. He waggles his eyebrows in an ominous wave that has Joonmyun torn between rolling his eyes and gulping down an uneasy swell of suspicion. Joonmyun just shushes him with a sharp hiss and turns back to focus on Yixing's instruction. ✌ ✌ ✌ "And this line is..." Joonmyun stipples the dull point of his pencil under the jagged mountain range charting the steady rise of profit margins over the last three quarters. He's been over the figures so often he's more familiar with the data transformations than he is with Jongin's preschool schedule for the fall, but his vision is starting blur like the surface of a puddle under a light summer drizzle. "Are you feeling ok, boss?" Baekhyun slides his elbows propped on the desk even closer into Joonmyun's space until Joonmyun can smell the sickly sweet scent of the strawberries & cream sucker trapped between his teeth. "Of course." Joonmyun clears his throat as if it will correct his vision like it's just an annoying tickle in his throat. It doesn't do anything to still the swirling figures that are starting to contribute to the queasy feeling in his empty stomach. They've been so busy going over the books since mid-morning that Joonmyun hasn't had time to stop for a coffee and texting break. He usually trades stickers and gifs with Jongdae on Victoria's phone for a few minutes while he sips his coffee refill, but today he hasn't even realized the time as it passed. Baekhyun keeps up with every report Joonmyun throws at him, occasionally scribbling notes in his legal pad. Despite his general lack of knowledge about the job, Baekhyun picks up important details quickly. He’s unfamiliar with most of the tasks Joonmyun is training him in, but Baekhyun is sharp enough to ask intuitive questions about the statistical tests, and not to write down any sensitive data that would be dangerous to leave lying around in notes. Joonmyun still has his reservations about the intern, but they'll find out soon enough how his performance will carry when it's time for him to start applying what he's learned. Irene often accuses Joonmyun of naive optimism, but Joonmyun doesn't see a problem with giving someone his confidence, even before they've had a chance to prove themselves. It costs him nothing but a few smiles and kind words, and the investment has been worth it so far among the workers he's trained. "Do you want to stop for lunch, maybe?" "Huh?" Joonmyun tosses his head and pinches at the bridge of his nose, cracking one eye open to stare at Baekhyun. The source of the voice whispering to him is only a few centimeters away from his face, and Joonmyun starts when his vision finally refocuses on Baekhyun's dark gaze. "I can keep going with these charts if we need to get this done, but it's after 3:00. Lunch is just a suggestion." "It's already 3:00?" Joonmyun scoots his chair forward with a jolt of panic and dashes his knee into the computer tower under his desk. He claws for the laser mouse and clicks open his inbox as his other hand massages the forming bruise through the thin linen of his slacks. "Do you have a meeting?" Baekhyun looks worried, eyes wide in his pale face when Joonmyun snaps his head around to look at him. It must be the adrenaline and the lack of caffeine screwing with Joonmyun's reflexes, because his gaze gets caught on the faintest dusting of tiny freckles over the bridge of Baekhyun's nose and how his cropped hair is pushed back from his hairline in messy waves and Joonmyun forgets to answer. "Ah, no, no, sorry! I'm just--lunch, you're right, I'm so sorry!" Baekhyun twirls the plastic stick of his sucker in his fingers. His lips are parted just enough that Joonmyun can see the hint of his tongue swirling over the lump of pink candy that's half dissolved in his mouth already. Baekhyun’s teeth crack the sphere cleanly in half as he shrugs. "That's ok. If I couldn't handle it I would have said something." "Really." Joonmyun frowns over his shoulder at the intern as he flicks back up to the top of his inbox, satisfied that nothing too urgent has popped up that he has to deal with before eating. Baekhyun doesn't look upset or annoyed, but Joonmyun still feels guilty. He didn’t mean for his intern to suffer from his bad habit of total immersion in a project to the point of forgetting to eat. "Really, really." Baekhyun gives an insistent nod as he crushes the candy further between his back teeth. Joonmyun tries not to cringe as visions of tooth decay and acidic candy shards rotting between his molars clamber for attention at the back of his mind. He grabs his lunch box from the back cubby of his desk and tears off the velcro straps at the top. Jongdae helps Victoria pack his lunch menu every night before Joonmyun tucks the boys into bed. Usually it's some assortment of leftovers or cold salads sealed into tupperware, but every so often they surprise him with a special bakery item or homemade cookies. Joonmyun ignores the contents of the cartons he pulls them out. He feels along the bottom of the padded bag for the snack sack Jongdae is always in charge of packing for him--raw veggies cut into neat sticks or cubes. "Here." Joonmyun shoves the bag of carrot sticks at Baekhyun, shaking it a bit to jostle the contents in invitation when the intern doesn't immediately reach for one. "Oh, that's ok, boss. I brought my own lunch too." Baekhyun grabs the wrinkled brown paper sack he brought with him to work this morning and pulls out his lunch items to line up on Joonmyun's desk. "Blue raspberry yogurt, pineapple sandwich cookies, banana cream cheese cake, and a can of coke?" Joonmyun makes a clicking noise with the side of his tongue. "You can't seriously eat like this every day. You're going to need an insulin pump and dental implants before you're 25!" Baekhyun laughs and almost chokes on the bits of candy he’s still sucking on. "Boss, I appreciate your concerns but I can reassure you that I have already passed the quarter century milestone with a bill of clean health." "But--!" Joonmyun starts to protest but snaps his mouth shut again when Baekhyun holds up a hand. "My dentist told me I have very nice teeth the last time I checked with her, which was only three months ago. I think I'm ok." "Fine." The waxed paper wrapped around Joonmyun's sandwich feels limp between his fingers in comparison to the crisp crinkle of Baekhyun's cookie wrapper when he pulls the top open. "But I'm saving you some of these carrots to eat once you finish your snacks." "Nah thanks, boss. No offense, but I don't eat orange stuff." "Not even orange juice?" Joonmyun almost drops his sandwich, and some of the strips of grilled onion and bell pepper from last night's fajitas fall from the edges of his pita bread. "Nope!" Baekhyun shakes his head and shoves two golden brown cookies between his lips with tips of his long and elegant fingers. "But you should always eat something fresh, like a carrot or apple, after you finish eating to clean the acidic compounds from your teeth. It prevents enamel erosion when you brush your teeth later." Baekhyun doesn't answer because he's still chewing. He just shakes his head in little turns. Joonmyun isn't sure if he's just nodding along to the tune he's humming under his breath or if he's still being contrary about Joonmyun's health concerns. Either way, Joonmyun tries to focus on his sandwich and not let it upset him. He's not even sure why he cares so much whether Baekhyun eats properly. He never scolded Krystal about her diet, though there was never a need. She introduced vegan recipes to several members of the office when she first started her internship. "You don't smoke, do you?" Joonmyun holds his breath while he waits for a response, but Baekhyun shakes his head again, more definitively this time. "No, sir. I quit that after college." "That's...that's good. And good for you for being able to quit, I’m impressed." That's the main reason Joonmyun never experimented with tobacco as a teen, he knew he'd have a hard time breaking a habit like that once he started. "When did you graduate from university?" "It's been a few years." Joonmyun isn't expecting Baekhyun's knowing wink. He accidentally swallows down a sauteed mushroom cap whole and Baekhyun changes the subject before he can recover to ask a more specific question. "So, how long have you been using the accounting software you and Amber use to keep track of the payroll and business expenses?" "About six years, I think?" Joonmyun wipes a glob of plain yogurt from the edge of his bread on his napkin. Victoria substitutes it for sour cream in her cooking because of the lower fat content but the downside is it's a bit runnier than clotted cream. "Right, six years, because Heechul programmed the beta version of the software the summer he interned. He works in database management now, over at corporate." "Oh, so it's a system unique to the company?" Baekhyun tears a gash in the foil covering his yogurt carton with the end of his plastic spoon. “Unique to this branch?” "Yes, it's gone through a few evolutions since the original beta version though, incorporating organizational features of other similar programs on the commercial market." Baekhyun nods in understanding as he crumples the foil and plunges in his spoon. Joonmyun lets out a breath as he sinks his teeth into his next bite of sandwich. He's relieved Baekhyun doesn't interested in quizzing him on the ins and outs of the software development, because he’s hopeless with technical details. Once numbers and equations get plugged into unintelligible lines of code the beauty of math ceases to make sense to Joonmyun's brain. "Six years, that's a while back. How long have you worked here? I mean at Fresh Fresh?" Joonmyun's focus gets distracted by the sprinkle of data points charted around the bias line of Baekhyun's lips, the golden cookie crumbs clinging to the delicate skin around his mouth. Three...six...eleven crumbs are caught in the dimple above his chin and-- "Eleven? Really? I thought Amber said it was only eight." Baekhyun's sudden frown and the darkening of his eyes jolts Joonmyun back to the conversation at hand. "Oh! Oh sorry, I was...thinking about something else. You wanted to know when I transferred here as branch manager?" Joonmyun lets out another sigh of pent up tension when Baekhyun gives an easy nod. "Amber is almost right. It'll be eight years come August. We moved here right before Jongin started preschool." "Preschool? You have a kid?" Baekhyun licks the back of his clear plastic spoon. Joonmyun watches the pink tip curl into the concave surface to get all the traces of blue raspberry before he drops it into the scraped out cup. "Two kids. Jongdae was born here in town." The boys have family pictures with their mother hanging in their bedrooms, but Joonmyun hasn't thought about those snapshots from the hospital in a long time. The one with just the two boys is Joonmyun’s favorite, Jongin cradling Jongdae carefully to his chest while propped in his grandmother's lap. Jongdae had been sleeping peacefully while they helped their oldest son get situated. Joonmyun showed him how to support his baby brother's head while Luhan loaded a new roll of film into the camera, but as soon as Luhan focused the lens Jongdae stretched his mouth wide for an earsplitting scream. Jongin's face of terror was frozen on Luhan’s negatives, skin as pale as Jongdae’s was angry red. Joonmyun gestures to the much tamer family snapshot propped at the front of his desk organizer, the off centered selfie they'd taken at the seaside last summer. They all have sand between their bare toes, and if you look close enough you can see the beige grains clinging to Joonmyun's eyebrows. The boys had spent all of an afternoon burying him in sand and only excavated him in time for a snapshot with the sunset in full bloom as the backdrop. Mementos and photos of his kids are everywhere, and Jooonmyun is surprised Baekhyun didn't bring up the subject when he cleaned out Joonmyun's desk the other week. "Amber mentioned something about you having kids, but hey! They're so cute! And you actually have time to take them on trips and stuff?" "Efficient management, with the help of Amber and rest of the team, allows us all decent vacation time. You know, industrial psychologists have done studies on the effects of rest on productivity, and people who get adequate rest and time away from the office to recharge are more productive workers." Joonmyun pops a grape tomato between his back teeth and savors the fresh feel of the cool juice running over his tongue. He subscribes to the top three industrial psychology research journals and draws from their studies and findings in the management policies he implements in his jurisdiction. "You actually pay attention to that kind of stuff?" Baekhyun narrows his eyes as he plucks at the saran wrap swaddling his slice of cake. Half of the stiff frosting peels off with the plasti. Baekhyun grabs his yogurt spoon to smear the icing in thoughtful swirls instead of digging into the slice of cake right away. "It's my job." No one can accuse Joonmyun of apathy in his career goals, though some people don't seem to understand his philosophy that employee well being and the bottomline go hand in hand. "Yeah, I suppose." Baekhyun sucks away a banana slice smeared on his thumb and lifts a tiny bite of the dark cake on his spoon. "So what made you want to be a manager? Did you dream of being CEO of an international conglomerate ever since you were in grade school?" "Uh, no!" Baekhyun seems surprised when Joonmyun laughs aloud, shoving a thick scraping of frosting into his mouth. Some of it smears along the seam of his lips and Joonmyun can't look away when Baekhyun’s tongue darts out to lick it clean. "I started out as an intern in marketing. You know, the young kid fresh out of college who runs around making copies and apologizing for the crappy instant coffee when the percer breaks? Yeah, that was me. Then I got transferred into HR after a merger, and after I got my MBA I started going out to branches on revitalization projects. Corporate noticed the synergy I seemed to have with the Fresh Fresh branch's goals and staff, so they let me stay here to head up the office even after expansion plans went into motion." "Huh." Baekhyun nibbles at the next bite of his cake. His lips twitch in careful movements at the edge of the spoon instead of enveloping it all at once. "What about Amber? How long has she worked here? Did you ever work with her before your current positions in another capacity?" "You sure are full of questions today!" Joonmyun passes Baekhyun a kleenex in lieu of a paper napkin and gestures discreetly at the corners of his own mouth. Baekhyun's cheeks heat a sudden pink and he mumbles an apology into the crumpled tissue as he wipes at his face. "No, no!" Joonmyun can feel his own face growing warm. He's on the verge of blushing out of guilt because he didn't mean to embarrass the poor intern. "Being curious not a bad thing! I'm just surprised, is all. That you're so eager to learn all the ins and outs of the business, the history and boring numbers. Many new employees underestimate the importance of keeping track of details like those." "Hm, well." Baekhyun's shrug wrinkles the shoulders of his neat suit jacket like the crumpled foil stuffed in his empty yogurt carton. "I'm surprised you're such a nice guy, family man and employee satisfaction and all that. Your reputation precedes you as--well, cutthroat when it comes to driving business deals." "Ah..." Joonmyun nods at the crusts of his pita bread as he arranges the last strip of cold grilled chicken between them. "I've heard that before. But I try to keep my image as approachable as possible here, among the team at Fresh Fresh. So I hope you don't feel..." "Don’t worry, we're good!" Baekhyun shoves the rest of his cake in his mouth and wipes hhis fingers on the back of his chair before raising them to his cap for a mock salute. "That's good to hear." Joonmyun smiles and bites the end of his sandwich neatly in half. "And if you really want to know about Amber, perhaps you should ask her yourself. I promise she doesn't bite as long as you distract her with snacks!" Joonmyun flushes a pleasant pink, delighted when Baekhyun considers his attempt at a joke worthy of a throaty laugh that has the brim of his cap knocking against the back of hisheadrest. "But how about you, Baekhyun? Where did you graduate from? What did you do before this position? I must admit I'm rather curious about how you landed this internship. You aren't quite the factory model applicant." Baekhyun shrugs again, humming as he pulls another sucker from his pants pocket and rips the shiny twist of wrapper plastic from the end. "Boss!" Joonmyun pushes his chair back from the desk and cranes his head around the partition just in time to see Amber rushing towards them. She’s lugging a folded poster board under one arm and Joonmyun's computer bag with the other, the briefcase he carries to board meetings and investment pitches. "Did I forget a meeting?" Joonmyun stuffs his empty cartons back into his lunch box, cringing when the ooze of olive oil and balsamic left at the bottom of his salad bowl dribbles down the sides of the bag. He shoves his phone and keys into his pocket and already has one arm through the sleeve of his jacket when Amber shakes her head, the short spikes of her styled hair flopping against her forehead. "No, it’s not on the schedule, but the production manager from factory site 3 is demanding an explanation of the latest engineering plans." Amber thrusts a sample box of the new product into Joonmyun's hands as he accepts his brief case with the other. "Mr. Kyung?" The food Joonmyun just consumed clenches in his stomach. His face is swelling hot and blotchy just at the thought of having to drive out and assuage the suspicions of the branch's most senior production manager. He should have known this was coming, though he let his guard down after Mr. Kyung hadn't made any nasty phone calls since preliminary production began last week. Amber nods breathlessly at Joonmyun but yanks back the cardboard poster when Baekhyun tries to take it from her. "You can't go to the factory site, sorry dude. I need you to go pick up an order from the print shop. You can drive, right?" “Oh, yeah. As long as you give me directions.” Joonmyun waits for Amber to scrawl the address of the copier’s on the back of the order form so they can take the elevator down to the parking garage together. “Oh by the way, thanks for the snacks, boss! Did Vic make those muffins you left on the coffee table?” Amber gives him a thumbs up as she hands the order form to Baekhyun. “Oh, those are from my baking class, actually” Joonmyun mumbles, already turning around to hide his blush. “We’ll see you later, Ambs! Good luck holding down the fort!” “So this print shop is in...Green Grove?” Baekhyun squints at the paper through his glasses as they step into the elevator. “Can I take the outer road to get there?” “You have a car?” Joonmyun peeks at the handwritten address as he pushes the button for the basement floor. He’d assumed Baekhyun would just take a taxi. “Yes.” Baekhyun unrolls the wrapper from another sucker, a lemon flavored one this time, and stuffs the crumpled plastic in his back pocket. “I know I’m just a lowly intern but I’m not a kid.” He looks Joonmyun in the eye when he says it. It’s not a challenging glare, just a steady gaze, a request for Joonmyun to take him seriously. “Right. Sorry. Sorry if I’ve been making you feel...inadequate, or something. I’m just used to having college kids for interns. You know, the type who can’t figure out the coffee maker or the copy machine on their own. Well, anyway,” Joonmyun continues in haste, his voice rising in pitch as he hurries to get the words out before Baekhyun misunderstands him, “I just wanted to let you know that you’re doing a great job, Mr. Byun. That I’m--I’m impressed.” “Thanks.” Baekhyun’s smile is reflected in the mirrored panels on the doors of the lift. It’s just a soft curl of his lips, but it makes Joonmyun feel validated about his embarrassing attempt to give an inspirational speech to his not-a-kid intern. “Bye, boss!” Baekhyun waves both his hands at Joonmyun as they step out of the lift. He disappears into the maze of conservative black and white luxury sedans and leaves Joonmyun standing in front of the empty elevator, smiling and holding the sample box as he waves goodbye to Baekhyun. ✌ ✌ ✌ The most stressful part of Joonmyun’s job is not dealing with cranky production managers like Mr. Kyung, fielding the same round of uninformed questions at every corporate board of director’s meeting, or taking over bathroom duty on the janitor’s days off. No, the moment that makes Joonmyun’s blood race in his ears and his stomach feel like Mt. Vesuvius about to blow is right before he debuts his precious products, presenting samples to the common woman for beta testing and review. Joonmyun knows his branch puts out quality products, but in politics and marketing perception is reality. The first impressions of the intended audience can make or break the market performance of even the most solid product line. Thus Joonmyun knows he can trust only the sharpest intuitions for initial beta testing. It's always a nerve wracking moment, walking into his kitchen with a sample box clutched in his sweating palms, but this is for science. This is for humanity. Joonmyun can do this. Okay. "Oh, you're home early!" Victoria has a casserole dish balanced on the top rack of the oven. She steadies the pan with a quilted hot mitt as she pricks the top with a toothpick. The mashed potatoes on top have formed a crusty, toasted layer and the smell of brown gravy is rich in the air. "Yeah, had to make a site visit to one of the plants today so I skipped the worst of rush hour traffic on the highway." Joonmyun slings his work bag onto the counter and checks the coast for little ears that might overhear his forthcoming sales pitch. "That smells delicious! Shepherd's pie?" "Mmhm! Jongdae's request. We were watching English Country Cottage Recipes after lunch today." "Where are the boys? Still playing outside?" Joonmyun taps his fingers against the embossed emblem on the pink box until he considers the possibility of fingerprinting it and hastily wipes it off on the leg of his slacks. "I think Jongdae is helping Luhan weed the garden. I don't know about Jonginnie, though. He was working on a project upstairs." "Ah, very good, very good." Joonmyun swallows down the tightness in his throat and tugs at the knot of his tie which he has yet to remove. "Is everything...ok? You're acting kind of strange." Victoria narrows her eyes at him as she slips off the oven mitts, stacking them on top of the microwave for easy access. "Of course, of course! Hehe. I just, well, I have one small favor to request." "Oh no, not again.” Victoria shakes her head as her hands come to rest on her hips. “You're not about to ask me to be your hamster for the new product line, are you? Because I happen to have consumer loyalty to the brands I've been using since high school. I like my routines, thank you very much." "Vic, Victoria! Now just a second," Joonmyun croons, managing to hold back the desperation welling in his veins, the need to succeed, for just a bit longer. His nanny knows all of his sweet talking ways ( heck, she also knows about his laundry piles in his bedroom and only raises her eyebrows at this point, they've shared the same living space for so long ) but he clings to the thread of hope that his charms might serve him anyway. "I'm offering you the chance to be the first to experience this revolutionary design, free of charge! And I won't even insist you fill out that survey like last time, all I want is a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer as to whether you liked it and would recommend it to your friends." "You can have your simple answer right now, Joonmyun." Victoria crosses her arms across her chest as she leans back against the kitchen counter. "No. Because I'm not interested, thank you though." "But you have the best business instincts, Vic! You're a phenomenal critic and always know exactly where things need a bit of tweaking!" "That may be, but you hired me for my nutritionist background and childcare expertise, not to work on your product development team. So I'd appreciate it you leave that stuff at the office." "Please?" Joonmyun's not above begging, not if it's for the sake of his children or as in this case, the sake of all humanity. "Dinner will be in fifteen minutes, can you tell Jonginnie to come down when you--oh! Hey there, kiddo." Victoria lifts her hand to wave when Jongin strolls down the hall and stops in the kitchen doorway. He grunts hello, nostrils flaring in interest in the direction of the steaming casserole set to cool on one of the stove burners. Joonmyun tries to shove the tampons back into the cardboard box before Jongin catches sight, but his frantic movements only draw his son's attention. "Ooh! What are those, Dad? Some kinda candy?" He takes a wide step into the kitchen. The ragged hems of his sagging jeans trail on the polished tile behind him. "Uh no, they're from our new product line. I was just offering Ms. Victoria a sample to try." "Free samples? Cool! I wanna try one! What does it do?" Jongin plucks one of the plastic wrapped tampons from the open box and shakes it experimentally. Victoria smothers a giggle with her palm as he holds it up to the light and squints at the opaque packaging. "Ah, I don't think you can try this one!" Joonmyun snatches it back, trying to think his way out of having to explain what exactly the samples are for right before they sit down to dinner. He's covered a basic and kid friendly version of the miracle of life with both of his boys, but Joonmyun had skirted around the, uh, more messy details of female health since no neither of them had explicitly asked about them. "Why?" Jongin blinks back at him, lips curling with a tremor of confusion at his father's evasive response. Joonmyun makes a point to be open with his kids about the facts of life, even it leads to uncomfortable conversations. Jongin's old enough to handle some of the details Joonmyun has thus far omitted, but he wishes they were having this conversation at their favorite park over milkshakes and curly fries. Not in the middle of the kitchen with Victoria sniggering in the background when a rogue Luhan could waltz in and track mud all over the house at any moment. "Vic?" Jongin turns to appraise her next, pointing at the box clutched to Joonmyun's chest. "Why don't you want one? They look cute!" "Ah, maybe you should let your daddy explain this one. I'll...go call Dae in for supper." Joonmyun lets out a shaky sigh as the screen door slams behind her. He's half disappointed Victoria escaped without agreeing to test the sample, and half relieved she was discreet enough to excuse herself before the tension got any more palpable. "Could we maybe delay this discussion until our shopping date on Saturday?" Joonmyun gives his son a guilty smile and Jongin nods, smiling back in understanding. He gives his dad a quick squeeze around the middle and Joonmyun drops an impulsive kiss to the top of his head. He’s grateful for a family that unconditionally accepts all of his awkward moments, and a son who isn't too cool for physical affection, even when he's wearing ripped jeans and eyeliner. "No problem," Jongin shrugs, shaking his shaggy hair back into place as he extracts himself from Joonmyun's tight embrace. "You can talk to me anytime, you know. About big things or small ones." He winks, and Joonmyun's heart squeezes with an impossible overload of affection for his oldest son. He can’t believe Jongin is so grown up and mature he's offering to be his dad's support system with the same phrase Joonmyun always tells his kids when he suspects they need some quality time and a chat. "Well, there is one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately." Joonmyun slips the crumpled sample box into his work bag to deal with later. He'll have to apologize to Victoria after the kids are in bed, since he didn't mean to pressure her. He just gets really passionate about his work projects, is all. "Yeah?" Jongin slides out the nearest kitchen chair and pats the seat in invitation before hopping up to sit on the table himself. "You know what you asked me at the grocery store the other day? About if I...liked someone?" “Yeah.” Jongin’s hooded eyes widen in interest as he waits for Joonmyun to continue. "Well, I think I might like someone, but I’m not really sure… I mean I think about them a lot, but I haven’t known them on a personal level for very long. Is that...weird? Do you think?” It’s been a long time since Joonmyun’s experienced that wibbly feeling in his stomach, like eating eggs for breakfast without any coffee to wash them down. He can’t tell if this is a crush, legitimate attraction, or just, well, his stomach being weird. “You know, I read about this thing,” Jongin says, leaning in to look his father in the eye as he smooths his palms up the thighs of his ripped jeans. “In one of my books. It’s called ‘love at first sight’.” “Good point,” Joonmyun agrees. He squints at the cracks in dry his cuticles and tries to remember his exact feelings upon their first meeting. “Do you think, maybe, there could be such a thing as ‘love at third sight’? Or even fifth sight?” He cringes against the chair back as soon as the words leave his mouth. He’s glad Victoria’s not here to witness this awkward process of talking out his feelings. Victoria gives whip smart advice, but she’s too matter-of-fact to be patient with Joonmyun’s convoluted processing of abstract matters. Luhan just makes fun of him in an encouraging way, which sometimes helps keep his mind from fixating on things, but today Joonmyun just needs someone to listen. And maybe a Jongin hug when they finish talking. “Dad, I think,” Jongin lets out a heavy sigh, pursing his lips like he’s searching for the right words, “well, you always say that everybody is different, right? And everybody develops at their own pace?” “Right,” Joonmyun nods, pleased that his son seems to have taken those words to heart. “So wouldn’t it make sense if love were the same way?” “I guess, yeah.” Joonmyun tilts his head in consideration to meets Jongin’s eyes with a soft smile. “I never really thought of it that way. The first time I fell in love it just kind of happened? And your mom asked me out first, so I never had to worry about that part, haha!” “That’s ok, you don’t have to worry about it this time either, ok Dad? Just be yourself.” Jongin reaches over to squeeze his hand and Joonmyun slides his arm around his son’s waist for a quick side hug. “Thanks, Jonginnie, for listening. You’re really good at giving advice.” “Nah.” Jongin scrunches his nose as he pulls away, bare feet swinging as he kicks his legs. “I just told you all the things you tell me. Everyone needs to hear it sometimes.” “Yeah.” Joonmyun lets out contented sigh as he pats his hair back into place. He really does feel better now that he’s aired out the confusion trapped in his chest. “So, if you don’t mind my asking, who is the person you maybe-like? Have I met them?” Jongin hops to the floor to face Joonmyun. His eyes are sharp with focused interest now, and Joonmyun suddenly feels shy even though they just shared a lot of their feelings. “Is it--?” “Hey, there you are, Jonginnie!” Victoria calls through the screen door as Jongdae comes running into the kitchen. He’s carrying an enamelware basin full of fresh greens and snap beans from the garden, which he shoves into Joonmyun’s lap before dashing down the hall to the bathroom. “Dae, did you pick all these greens? Wow! So many!” “Affirmative!” Jongdae calls over the rush of the faucet turning on. “Good man, thank you for helping!” Joonmyun hands the bowl to Victoria so she can stash the vegetables in the drain to rinse, winking at Jongin to let him know they’ll continue their conversation later. “Do you guys want salad? Or we can save them for tomorrow.” Victoria pulls down a stack of plates so Jongin can set the table. Joonmyun leans back in his chair to scan the backyard through the window in the door. “Is Lu staying for dinner?” “Nope, he had plans. He wouldn’t say what, but he was in a hurry to shower and get all dolled up for something tonight.” “Oh my, it must be costume party night at the Board Game Association meeting.” Joonmyun rolls his eyes, very glad that he wasn’t blackmailed into joining this month’s session of Luhan’s club. It’s bad enough he has to fill in for his mother’s bridge club and mahjong soirees when they’re short a player. “Yeah, I don’t even know.” Victoria slips back into the oven mitts to carry the casserole to the kitchen table. She sets the heavy dish on the trivet Jongin whisks into place just in time. “Time to partake?” Jongdae skips back into the kitchen, wet up to his elbows and flinging the excess water in his wake. “Just about.” Joonmyun settles the booster seat in Jongdae’s chair to make sure it’s stable before lifting him into the seat. “Did you help your brother pack his backpack for tomorrow?” Victoria nods to Jongin as she slides a knife through the casserole, slicing the pie into neat squares. Jongin refills his milk glass from the pitcher and takes a gulp. “Yup.” “Oh, are you guys going on a field trip tomorrow?” Joonmyun fills a glass for Jongdae once Jongin’s finished with the milk and accepts a glass of sweet tea for himself. “Make sure you take your water bottles and the sunscreen!” “Dad, we’re going with you though. It’s Vic’s day off, remember?” Victoria nods in agreement with Jongin as she slides a heap of steaming vegetables and beef onto Joonmyun’s plate. “I know it’s been a few weeks since we arranged it, but we were planning a bring-your-kids-to-work day, since your mother is busy with the orphanage fundraiser and I’m going to my cousin’s birthday party. Is...that still going to work out for you?” “Oh shoot, I forgot.” Joonmyun scrapes the gravy oozing across his plate back into the mashed potatoes. Amber usually lets Jongdae hang out with her while Joonmyun is in meetings, but she’s not going to be in for most of tomorrow. “But that’s ok! The boys can still come with me. We’ll make it work.” “Thanks!” Victoria’s smile is relieved as she sinks into her chair at the end of the table. “I have to drive to Afton for the party so I’m leaving around 6:00, but I’ll leave breakfast on the table for you guys.” “Oh, you don’t have to get up early just to feed us!” Joonmyun stabs into a green bean with his fork, still feeling guilty for forgetting about the change in schedule. He’s just been so distracted with work lately, especially now that he’s busy with the cooking class every weekend, that things are slipping through the cracks. He needs to do a thorough go-over of his planners and calendars tonight before bed. “Hah, as if I’m going to trust you with breakfast alone.” Victoria’s laugh isn’t cruel but Joonmyun still flushes at the jibe. “Hey, I can bake perfectly lovely breakfast muffins now!” he protests, feeling validated when Jongdae pats his wrist in solace. “So you said, but since I haven’t seen physical evidence of this claim I think I’ll leave some oatmeal on the stove,” Victoria says, and hands him the bread basket. “Next time I won’t take my hard earned kitchen creds to the office, and then you’ll see.” Joonmyun reaches for the butter. He nudges Jongin’s ankle with his foot when his son rips a dinner roll in half with his teeth and inhales the massive bite in one swallow. “Or, we could just eat cereal?” Jongin suggests, ducking his head in meekly as he takes another smaller bite. “Deal,” Joonmyun says, and changes the subject to ticket sales for the PGA Championship in August. He’ll worry more about tomorrow’s field trip when the time comes. He just hopes Baekhyun likes kids. one | two